Children often talk to themselves. This is how their developing brains give free rein to their imagination. It also helps them improve their linguistic and communicative abilities. “This is called egocentric language and it occurs in all children, regardless of their culture,” she explains. Montse Diaza doctor in psychology and founder of Neuropsicoteca, a space where she trains psychologists.
The age at which this type of monologue occurs is around four years old. “It appears when the mother tongue is already mastered and reaches its peak between six and seven years old,” explains Díaz. This expert associates children’s soliloquies with the phase of the beginning of socialization in which children begin to understand other points of view, which favors maturation and understanding. “Therefore, these dialogues help them to review what they have learned and heard,” says the expert.
The fact that a child talks to himself also favours other aspects of his learning. “It is a stage of consolidation of one’s own thought and of the construction of internal language, the one with which we reason and become aware of our own existence,” says the specialist. It is a natural process of child brain development. “It helps them to communicate and interact with their environment through the expression of their internal world and can be playful-emotional in order to express emotions and phrases when playing alone,” explains the family doctor. Dario Fernandez. The child care specialist and clinical psychologist also mentions other benefits of solitary conversations during childhood: “It helps to plan, guide and carry out actions, as well as to manage emotions and relocate life experiences.”
Children’s monologues are a reflection of the lively imagination of children. “It is a sign that the child is using metalinguistic skills, such as putting themselves in the place of another’s mind, which involves changes in intonation depending on the character involved in their conversation,” adds Fernández.
When parents notice that their child is talking to themselves, it is best not to intervene. “They don’t have to do anything, just if at some point in the conversation they can participate, do it naturally, like with a question or a word after a sentence that refers to what the child is saying,” explains Díaz. “You have to let it happen, because it is part of a stage of language development and socialization, it is like going from crawling to walking,” clarifies the expert. Although it is very important, according to Fernández, to see if what the child says is congruent with the activity he is doing, to see that it is a monologue with a constructive function.
Creativity can also be encouraged by children talking to themselves. “If the child’s environment is stimulating, they will develop more monologues, which in turn encourage creativity,” says Díaz. Cognitive development is another aspect encouraged by children’s soliloquies: “Verbalization helps to organize ideas, because our thoughts, mostly, are language. The world is built by describing objects, situations, people, images, smells or flavors. Therefore, for children who are in the process of building their internal world, monologue helps them to develop and structure their thoughts,” explains the psychologist.
Talking to yourself and the imaginary friend
Do all children who talk to themselves do so with an imaginary friend? “No. Although it is the same phenomenon of internalizing language, not all children have an invisible friend, although they all go through this stage of language development that involves some kind of monologue,” Díaz continues. Regardless of a person’s age, at some point they can talk to themselves. This expert explains that it happens, above all, when one is absorbed in themselves, which causes them to give speeches to themselves or talk out loud: “This helps to reinforce self-esteem and to rehearse possible social situations that they do not master, such as transmitting emotions to people with whom they do not have confidence.”
The fact that a child talks to an imaginary friend should not be a cause for concern for his parents. “There is no need to repress him when he does it, nor try to stop him, because it is an expression of his normal imagination and an indication of a good intellectual and linguistic capacity, which allows him to invent characters,” Fernández adds. However, this specialist also recommends taking into account the possibility of generating situations in which the child interacts with real friends: “For example, inviting classmates to the house or taking him to the park to play with other children.”
When a child’s monologues can be worrying
There are exceptions to children’s soliloquies that may indicate complications in their development. “This is the case of children with autism, in whom the dialogue is disjointed and echolalia or repetition of phrases and words without meaning or out of context occurs,” explains Darío Fernández, a family doctor, child care specialist and clinical psychologist.
When a child’s conversations with himself or herself go off course, language can become a reflection of communication disorders. “Monologues cease to have content with a structure and social or educational function and appear as a response to hallucinations or delusions when there is a psychiatric disorder, both in adolescents and adults,” warns psychologist Montse Díaz.
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