Angy Fernández: “With the hate that Chanel received, I wondered if my head was going to be prepared for the criticism at the Benidorm Fest”

Two shadows embrace Angy Fernández (Palma de Mallorca, 33 years old) on stage after sending her voice into the stratosphere in the seconds before the final chorus of I know who I am. The actress and singer naturally integrates her fears into the song with which she officially returned to the world of music on Tuesday night. Years ago, when she understood that she did not have a clear sound project in her mind or the necessary emotional stability, she decided to focus on interpretation. She voluntarily asked to terminate her contract with Sony. The record company accompanies her again in her relaunch at the Benidorm Fest, in whose first semi-final she has swept the audience along with the Bitch from Nebulossa.

Her proposal to represent Spain in Eurovision is supported by a double winner of the contest: Thomas Gustafsson, author of Loreen's two victories (Euphoria and Tattoo). He is one of the composers who has helped her shape the song based on the intimate lyrics that she herself has written. The Swede is the one who benefits the most from the collaboration between the two. It's Angy's live capabilities that add luster to the song and not the other way around. In her verses she bluntly describes her stage fright and the pressure she feels to stand out as an artist, despite the fact that there is no record in the 16 years that she has been on television of a live performance of hers that has not been excellent. She began sharing her mental health problems five years ago, when it was not fashionable to talk about it. And since then she has not been shy about talking about depression, suicide, toxic romance, feelings of guilt and the way she works on her self-love.

For many of those attending the Palau d'Esports l'Illa in Benidorm, she is a generational reference as one of the protagonists of the youth series Physics or chemistry. He was the one who made Spanish youth want to be emo. The public knows his story and, while his presentation video was broadcast at the TVE gala on Tuesday, he surrounded the Mallorcan woman just a second after she stepped on stage.

Ask. It was exciting to see the connection the audience felt with you before you even started singing.

Answer. I noticed a lot of affection. She was already excited before. I'm a rollercoaster and I was excited, but I also felt a lot of pressure because I wanted everything to go well. I've sung and competed many times on television, but I was especially nervous. The song touches me a lot. The moment of the hug leaves me on the verge of crying; I have to hold myself back for the final blow of the song. I hope to polish a couple of things vocally for Saturday's final.

Q. From the outside it is very easy to see things, but it is incredible that he can be so insecure about his abilities on stage.

R. More than insecurity, I would talk about demand. Since people have known me for a long time and read that I had so many expectations placed on me, I needed to do well, to be comfortable with what came out on stage.

Q. I know who I am It is a personal proposal, but at the same time very professional, very focused to fit into Eurovision.

R. Tony Sánchez-Ohlsson proposed that I run this year [es compositor eurovisivo, asesor del Benidorm Fest y quien invitó a Chanel a participar en la primera edición]. I prepared a proposal and I was able to count on people of Thomas' level… which is a luxury but also another pressure. The good thing is that in addition to doing things by someone as great as Loreen, he comes from heavy-metal, so he liked the idea that he wanted to put guitars in the song.

Q. Each artist who appears at the Benidorm Fest finances his staging, although he can ask RTVE for help in some technical aspects. In her case, she preferred not to record a music video to invest everything in this week's set.

R. Not only was it a way to save on the budget, I believed that in this case I should focus on the live performance. I wanted to save it for that moment. I was clear about what I wanted to say, I had to do it on stage.

Q. He won the first Your face is familiar to me. The program has shown great live artists, such as Jorge González and María Peláe (both also at Benidorm Fest 2024), who are unable to consolidate a recording career. Is there a lack of repertoire in the Spanish industry?

R. There are so many of us… And, in music, you have to be very clear about your personality and work hard to define it. That's why I left it aside. I wasn't clear about my identity and my insecurity made me compare myself a lot.

Q. In 2019, he commented on his mental health problems on social media. At the time there weren't many public faces doing it and we tried to chat about it almost immediately, but he didn't want to anymore.

R. I got overwhelmed. She started calling me everyone. It wasn't a marketing thing. My representative told me that she could have given notice to communicate it in another way. She was better with herself and she just wanted to talk about those demons that she had been fighting for a long time, and that we all have.

Q. So he did it from a positive position.

R. Yes. At that moment I had left a more immature and toxic relationship that filled me with horns for a stable and healthy one. I was doing well in the theater, my family was there… she told me that I was doing better. The networks have kept me connected to people despite not having been singing these years. I noticed that they thanked me for talking openly about my things. I thought it was a good way to transfer it to music now.

Q. He has commented that, at his moment of greatest popularity, with the television series, is when he had the most fears. She compared herself to her co-stars.

R. Yes. They are some pivons and it affected me. Not because of them, they were my friends. They were the external comments. I have experienced many things with Úrsula [Corberó] and she has always been that empowered girl. That's why she is a world star. And I admire her. When we were in our pajamas at home, she would show me her insecurities, but she decided it wasn't what she wanted to show the world. And so she has come from afar.

Q. And there were no social networks…

R. But Forocoches was already there. He wasn't even 20 years old and they called me everything. Orc, dwarf, neckless. And it was even worse when they said: “She is ugly, but she fucked me.” Before that, when I was in Mallorca and started going out with my friends with a fake ID, I never had any physical complexes. I went with my look emo and flirted for pure attitude. She didn't compare me to anyone.

Q. Did the pandemic help those mental health problems?

R. Despite the great tragedy it was for the world, locking myself in a bubble helped me. I didn't have to be demonstrating or casting. I took those pressures off.

Q. And then there is the guilt of feeling depressed when you objectively live in a privileged situation.

R. It keeps happening to me. Sometimes it's hard for me to enjoy. Fortunately, the algorithm has changed, but until recently it was all about being okay and showing it, even if you had woken up and just wanted to cry. Psychiatrists help a lot, but it must be combined with psychological therapy, because the pills only cover
up the problem and do not solve it.

Q. He has also spoken of having had suicidal ideation.

R. That's why you also feel guilty. When your head tells you that it can't take it anymore and, despite all the tools that I have had at my disposal (because I have been able to spend a lot of money on therapy that has helped me a lot), to think that you hit the wall again… She thought: Is it going to be like this all my life? Am I going to be sad all my life?

Q. Don't you think about it anymore?

R. I am clear that I would never do it for the people who love me, but when I see that someone has done it it makes me so sad, I empathize so much… and I even understand them. If you ask for help, there is always a way out. I would like to be able to share my experiences in talks, not just in interviews. To support all those young people who are going through the process of finding their own identity.

Q. Did you think twice about coming to Benidorm after all the initial hatred that Chanel received?

A. Yes, I did wonder if I was going to be prepared for the criticism. But those around me told me that people respect me and love me a lot. And that's how I've felt it. Then, for whatever reason, the proposal is not the one chosen, because it doesn't matter.

[El Ministerio de Sanidad promueve la Línea telefónica 024 de atención a la conducta suicida].

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