Matteo Messina Denaro and his daughter
In Messina Denaro's personal notebooks the sadness for the daughter she had never seen
Not just pizzini, but also intimate notebooks and a very personal diary Matteo Messina Denaro wrote a lot in his final days on the run, as Repubblica explains in detail today, citing personal phrases such as: “At 16 I knew what I wanted and where I was going”. And again “Today, however, and it seems like a paradox, I don't know anymore”. On January 29, 2019, he noted: “Everything around me is pitch black, where am I? Which direction am I going? I have no idea, I don't even know why I'm still alive.”
We always read in Repubblica: “I don't want to be a victim, I'm not, I never will be. In fact, I feel too comfortable in my madness, I would even have too many revenges to take, but today what happens afterwards doesn't interest me that much. I feel as if I were sitting all alone at the bottom of the sea”. It is impressive, underlines Gedi's newspaper, to read the most powerful boss of Cosa Nostra who wrote that he felt “alone” and also “sad”: “I am a man who has gone through many painful trials, now expert in enduring them – he further noted -. At this thought I feel overcome by great sadness.”
Much space for the troubled relationship with his daughter Lorenza, never met. Here is what he wrote to her in May 2019: “Today I learned that you have been living in London for some time, being a parent means knowing how to set limits. You have not set any limits. Lorenza, you see that by doing so, life shatters you. All of this it is due to the absence/impotence of a father. To the wickedness of a mother and to the madness-senselessness of youth. I hope that my thoughts can protect you, my daughter.”
Reading Repubblica you can see that the boss was suffering from feelings of guilt – “I never took care of you, we never touched each other, day after day we never ate from the same plate, never smelled the same scents, I never had you protected… and does that mean being father and daughter?” – to anger calling it “degenerate” to the point of recrimination: “I'm not a perfect man, but you could have waited for me, it was worth it. Maybe you would have saved what's left of my soul. But it doesn't matter.”
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