Hello, I hope you had a nice celebration last Sunday. I apologize for missing our appointment on Thursday of last week. In my favor, I just want you to know that it is not easy to talk about the father.
I was reading many publications last Sunday around the civil celebration of Father’s day. from whom they shared intimacy their families at the celebration. Also notes where they were shared about the importance of the father from the psychological perspective. And it is that, we can say with Freud, that there can be no such great need during a person’s childhood, that the need to feel protected by a father.
The need for father manifests itself from different scenarios. Before I start with it, I ask you. Do you think that using the word “need” is the most appropriate? You see, much is said, not only in psychoanalysisof the vital importance of early mother-son relationships, a situation that can lead to naming the father for informational purposes only. Well yes, right? if there was motherthere had to be a father. At least one man who would do the same. Let’s think, then, are we prepared to grant the father the place and the part of the paternal function that corresponds to him without falling into just the vague idea of someone who exists far away?
He father you are not alone to ask alimony, or to ask you to pay the expenses of the children. Winnicott (1963), in Soria (2016), raises the development of every human being from a state of absolute dependence to independence as a subject. It is a change that is taking place gradually, where the mother plays a fundamental role from the very moment she begins the pregnancy, hosting him first in her desire, then in her body, then in her arms and finally in the home provided by the parents.
so that the mother To be able to comply with the aforementioned, in turn, she needs this man as a first partner, who loves her and contains her and who goes from being a man-couple, with the introduction of the child in the social-home, to being man-father. His first function, now as a father, will be that of a witness who looks from the outside, like a mirror where the son, the mother and their relationships can be reflected. He father watch and act. He is the ambassador of reality, mediator, protector, but also disturber, obstacle, limit and prohibition. Freud will also tell us that governing, psychoanalyzing and educating are impossible tasks.
Has it ever happened to you to receive from dad A dose of reality that you didn’t like so much? I mean, I know that at this point opinions can take as many directions as guests come to this coffee that we are having. From those who say that their dad he never punished them and that he was always a love, even those who say they never knew him. The truth is that the father and his paternal function is for the child an object that inhabits his internal world, and an object invested instinctually.
These drives are not always loving, there will also be negative, destructive, aggressive, etc. And these will be reissued in our subsequent interpersonal relationships, especially with authority figures. Problems with him? boss?, with the police?, he teacher? Review how you are doing in your relationship with the father and his authority. Period and followed by today, to end next week. Seriously, for many, it is not easy to talk about the father. Peace and good.
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