And here we are again, like every week. This one has a particularity. How I wish you could tell me how it went yesterday celebrating or remembering mom. Or, if you are, that you could tell me how you felt.
Somehow, in the social, we already have some templates to reuse. The celebration in the school of the children, the hug of the family, the eternal lines in public places to eat, the Tigers of the North or Denisse de Kalafe to everything they give. Well, maybe other artists, if she’s a young mother.
Recently, in a talk about Attachment Theory by John BolwbyDr. Vanessa Nahoul Serio, told us about the importance of the mother’s role in establishing a secure attachment. At this point I would like to comment that the word “attachment” is not in any way a negative word. Very accustomed to wanting to know if things are good or bad, sometimes we take this judgment to the field of emotions, even more, to the unconscious. The truth is, we are relational beings. Object seekers (from psychoanalysis, we call animate or inanimate thing an object, on which our libidinal charges are deposited. That which is significant and important to us, where we deposit our love and our unpleasant feelings, such as hate). In that sense, May 10 is also a good time to say: happy object day!
I continue. From the theory in question, it is said that this attachment assumes different characteristics, according to the way the child related to his mother, and is with him. In the best of cases, this relationship, when it manages to establish itself in a healthy way, ensures in adult life the ability to face and resolve stressful events in life, since the mother constitutes a space of protection, security and of love for the child. And this relationship model will also be replicated in our subsequent interpersonal relationships.
Have you ever contemplated a baby in its mother’s arms? What could worry it?
On YouTube, you could give yourself the task of watching videos about Mary Ainsworth and her experiment of “the strange situation”, and warning, like the mere presence of the mother, is enough in some cases to reassure babies. In other cases, this is not enough when a secure attachment has not been established and the baby does not find in the mother the calm she needs. As an adult, have you ever experienced how a hug from the right person calms or comforts you? What a relief, right?
In short, the role of the mother in upbringing and its importance in psychological development of people has been and continues to be extensively studied by various authors. Society changes. Family models, couples, the current situation of women, of course they must be addressed, looking for the benefit for women and men on equal terms, but we must never forget that the role of maternity is irreplaceable. Perhaps the caregivers or educators in the nursery can play a good role, or the grandmothers have good intentions. And indeed, they can be very helpful to many children. But as long as the mother herself can occupy this role, it will definitely be convenient.
Now, although the mother is this safe haven for the child, it is the father who guarantees said security. To the extent that the woman feels safe, she can be more available for the maternal function. The project of being a mother, which is certainly not for all women, cannot take place without the help of the man, who has more to do than just be the one to provide the seed, and it is the man’s job to reflect on it, and assume it accordingly.
PS: Last Saturday (May 06), it was the 167th anniversary of the birth of Dr. Freud. A response.
Until next week. Peace and good.
We recommend you read:
- Take a break to clear yourself
- My mother
- words to mom
- our bread
#Session #Madam #madam