Regarding the fact that we are about to end this month of love, by coincidence, in recent days I met a women and he shared details of a sentimental relationship that he was living. Respecting his anonymity, for obvious reasons, I want to share him with you. Because in particular I found it interesting to share what was discussed. She told me, “I am very happy with my partner”, but he is “like very jealous”, very distrustful, he does not like that I go alone, he always wants to accompany me to the events that I attend, and he does not like that I greet other men, much less when we go to a party, that I stop to dance with my friends. But he is like that, he is like that, he loves me and I love him too.
It is surprising what many women sometimes experience or experience, And we think it’s love, when maybe we’re all wrong. Sometimes we have loving experiences that make us suffer so much, and we confuse our feelings. A couple of weeks ago, in statements made by the Secretariat of Women in SinaloaIt was mentioned that more than romanticizing love, risk factors must also be identified, and one of these factors is jealousy. A large part of the femicides that are committed in Sinaloa are committed by jealousy, which is an irreversible and multifactorial delusional disorder that makes the patient think that their partner is unfaithful, and affects more men than women.
As the researcher, writer on romantic love issues, and feminist, Coral Herrera, also mentions in one of her books (romantic love), we must suffer less and enjoy life more. love. In fact, this was one of the objectives from which she began to analyze relationships, in order to deconstruct patriarchal myths and create healthy relationships. I have to confess something to him, Elena told me, I feel that when I’m with him, when we go out together, “it’s not me”, I just do many things that I like, like dancing and chatting with my friends, even if they’re womenBecause when I talk to a fellow man, if he sees me, he tells me I’m flirting with someone, even though I know it’s not true. When I’m with him, it’s not me. But I already got used to that.
The myths of romantic love and the reality of social relationships are so far apart that they seem to exist in parallel worlds. I fully agree with Herrera, when he shares in his notes that “Love has to be something beautiful and pleasant, an engine that leads us to love and treat each other well and make a better world. Our way of building romantic love has to do with the way in which we organize ourselves socially, economically and politically, due to patriarchal ideology we build our way of loving based on myths that perpetuate machismo in relationships. The way we have to reproduce these ideas is through culture: songs, movies, jokes, television series…
Thus we reproduce the romantic myths of romantic love. He left a question for Elena. Has what could be control and domination been disguised as love?
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