On the couchEva Breda (24) is a journalist, podcast maker and client. In her latest podcast Comes A Maid Bij De Psych she tries to lower the threshold to psychological help by going into therapy herself. She discusses her therapy in a column. This week: the fifth session.
“I see a man. He’s behind me. The knife in his hand glistens in the bathroom light. I’m taking a shower, I don’t notice anything.” It is my fifth therapy session and my psychologist Dorianne Hoek has asked me to share my scariest fear thought. My body is in the treatment room, my head is in that bathroom. My breathing shoots up and waves of panic race through my head.
I see myself as a positive person, but despite that the doomsayer in me sometimes screams louder than I would like. Almost every day I fantasize myself in a life-threatening situation. Carbon monoxide poisoning, drowning, a collision. It is sometimes difficult to remain calm in a world where you see risks everywhere. Certainly if you are anxious or have experienced trauma, there is always a trigger lurking everywhere.
Provide enough grip
The current situation in the world does not help that fear. War in Russia, fighting in Kiev, nuclear weapons on high alert. I find it difficult to admit that this also instills extreme fear in me. The day before yesterday I was still hyperventilating on my balcony having a panic attack about something that is not here but there. Isn’t that a typical case? how can I make this about me†
But I’m far from the only one. Countless Dutch people – with and without fear – are experiencing fear or panic at the moment. The demand for iodine tablets has never been so high, we fear a nuclear disaster. ‘War’ and ‘conscription’ were among the most Googled words in the past week. And the Kindertelefoon is red hot with questions about a third world war. Admitting that you’re scared in a situation where you’re not in the most danger doesn’t mean you’re competing for first place in the fear pecking order. It’s pure self-care. Because it is precisely in times when the world is faltering that it is important to ensure that you have enough to hold on to.
How do you control feelings of anxiety?
But how do you control anxiety caused by an uncontrollable world? If your fear is rooted in trauma or a recurring hypothetical scenario, you can – like me in this therapy session – take EMDR therapy. A trauma therapy that can reduce your tension. But you can also do a lot yourself to keep feelings of panic in check.
According to my psychologist, the first thing that is important is to cut down on things that feed your anxiety. “Limit the amount of news, social media, coffee or alcohol,” is her advice. “Then try to challenge your fearful prediction by asking yourself these questions.” For example, ask yourself how likely it is that your fear will become a reality. Is there a chance it will be okay? Dorianne: ,,Is it difficult to rationalize your own fears? Have a conversation with a friend. Try to create new, more realistic thoughts with this information.”
“You can then shift your focus to a healthy activity such as walking, socializing, or a hobby.” It may feel awkward to indulge in self-care when the world is inundated with misery, but you should always put on your own life jacket before you can save others.
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