Would you be able to use a ‘jetpack’ without having a clue or would you crash? Christmas flies by with Turboman

We are at the height of Christmas. Mariah Carey popularizes Christmas song lists, Christmas carols and the smell of chestnuts dominate the streets and in our homes we have the Christmas movie rehashes from you-know-what country: “A woman accidentally trips and collides with a man who was buying gifts for her children. This incident will give rise to the quintessential Christmas romantic comedy.” Repeat the formula with different actors that you only know in your neighborhood and at parties and you already have the grill covered on television. But all these movies are not close to the summum Christmas film. None is comparable to the jewel in the crownthe movie that sits on the throne of gingerbread and tinsel cookies and looks down on all the others. I speak, of course, of Jingle All the Way (1996), known in Spain as A father in trouble. In short, the Turboman movie.

Family comedy in which Howard Langston, played by Arnold Schwarzenegger, seeks to buy the Turboman action figure for his son. As in the good times of Marvel, Turboman is the iconic fictional superhero who, with his shiny suit, futuristic gadgets and impressive jetpackbecomes the object of desire of thousands of children during the Christmas season. The problem is that it is not going to be easy to get one. It becomes so difficult that Howard himself dresses up as Turboman and flies over the city in a hilarious way. I will always remember with childish admiration how, without having a clue, they told him: “Take this jetpackwe assume that you have read the instructions (spoiler, I was impersonating someone else and therefore had not read anything), so come on, let’s fly Turboman.

If as a child they told me that I could talk about Turboman in a newspaper, I wouldn’t believe it, but I go up one place in that ranking by combining my passion for Christmas, for Turboman and science by asking you the following. Would you see yourself capable of riding a jetpack without having a clue?

Real-life jetpacks

He jetpack It is a propelled backpack that allows the user carrying it to fly alone. There is not a single jetpack, since they differ, for example, in the type of propulsion they use. Electric ones like the SkyPak They use precisely positioned rotors so that the 2 minutes of flight time provided by their lithium polymer battery can be well controlled. Those propelled by water, such as Flyboardsare connected to a hose that channels high-pressure water downward, allowing the person using it to rise. Their limitation is that they have to be continuously connected to a water outlet, but for recreational use it is a great alternative. But if I want to focus on Turboman, Personally I would say that your model is the one that uses gas or liquid fuel jet propulsion. I’m talking about what is for me what I conceive as the “old-fashioned jetpack”, the Rocket Belt.

This jet pack uses highly concentrated hydrogen peroxide as fuel, which decomposes on contact with a catalyst (usually silver), generating hot steam for thrust, which It is strong enough to lift an average human and allow it to fly for 20 to 30 seconds.depending on the weight and the maneuvers you want to perform. It can reach speeds between 10 and 15 km/h and a height between 15 and 20 meters, the equivalent of a building between 5 and 7 floors.

Comparing the previous diagram with the one in the Turboman image you can see that they share many similarities. The difference is that those who have used the Rocket Belt jetpack will be experienced users who have properly prepared themselves to use the device, while Turboman has not.

20th Century Fox

It’s Turbo time

The Turboman at the end of the movie uses his jetpack spectacularly, but it is on the verge of crashing into anything. The flight is clumsy… but effective. It’s all for a father who does everything possible to regain his son’s admiration (it’s better that he stays in the movies, since in real life you can’t rewind).

An analysis at first glance already tells us that the jetpacks They can be very complicated because The human being is not used to flying with control. Only with preparation and training is it possible to efficiently handle a one-person device that takes you through the air. We are so used to seeing them that we surely assume it is easy. We have seen it with Star-Lord, with Jango and Boba Fett or with Buzz Lightyear, but reality would be more similar to the conscientious work that Tony Stark did in the first movie. iron man looking for the right balance for flying with thrusters through trial, error and a lot of engineering. If you still think you could fly with Jetpack Without prior knowledge, let me do an awareness exercise with you.

Do you think walking is easy? Surely you will answer yes, because you have been doing it for many years and you have it automated, but that is because your body is prepared for it and since you were a baby you have been taking one small step after another and balancing the weight so as not to fall forward or backward. back. The work of your inner ear provides you with balance, preventing you from knowing how to position your body to continue standing, even if you put a foot wrong or take a wrong step. Now imagine that you get a little dizzy and lose your balance. Everything can spin around you and what in principle was something as easy as standing, I’m not saying walking anymore, but standing, becomes an extremely complex task. That’s a battle of yourself against your body and it’s very easy to lose. I speak with knowledge of the facts, since I suffer from vertigo and the powerful trips that have been able to hit me are comparable to those of the Millennium Falcon lurching through the galaxy. Now let’s add an extra. We are not going to directly put the jetpackif not We are going to use another daily vehicle. A car.

To learn to ride a car you have to go to driving school classes where they teach you how to use the car and the rules of road traffic. If they give you a car like that first thing, chances are you have no idea what it is for.for example, the pedal on the left of the driver’s seat. It’s normal. Nobody has taught you. Add to that aspect the fact of having to learn to change gears, operate the windshields or learn to make roundabouts. You never quite get it right, and even less so on the issue of roundabouts.

Let’s go up one more level. If it can be complicated to suddenly have to learn to drive a car, imagine an airplane. The dashboard is larger than the ultra-extended version of The Lord of the Rings. Driving a car is intimidating, but I won’t even tell you about a plane. Even so, although it is a monster that flies through the skies, the engineers have managed (pardon the redundancy) to add many aids and automations so that the plane detects and regulates on its own a large number of specific problems and, even having these aids, , the pilots are there to manage possible urgent matters. YesIt’s still scary, but the help… helps.

Now, yes, let’s go to jetpack. You are a person flying with a backpack filled to the brim with fuel. (If you use the Rocket Belt, of course, like Turboman) and they have not instructed you in absolutely anything. There is no bodywork or any coating around you that can mitigate the force of an impact. When driving, our first contact with the car resulted in stalling the engine at the exit of a traffic light, fussing with the steering wheel at small “scares” or confusion with the pedal when pressing the brake to accelerate and vice versa. Imagine that feeling of overwhelm and danger… With a jetpack.

The device’s control knobs are very sensitive and now you depend totally and exclusively on your skill (which you don’t have, because, surprise, you are there for the first time in your life). To maintain balance in flight, the center of gravity must be managed precisely.since any change in body posture would drastically affect the direction of the push. Involuntary accelerations of the device due to inappropriate handling would be the most logical since there has been no possibility of training with the device. jetpack. To this we must add the psychological factor that you are flying and normally, if you are not made to fly, it is scary. But fear does not exist for Turboman.

Howard Langston manages to fly through buildings and land like a true hero at the end of the film, something that would actually be a miracle since it would surely end up stamped on the facade of a twenty-fourth floor or complementing the pavement of American highways with his body smashed against the ground. Also in the film his son is kidnapped and falls into the void from a considerable height. Would you be able to save a family member like he does by taking a jetpack for the first time in your life?

I highly doubt it, since you’re not Turboman, but you can watch the movie and feel like one. You’re taking a while to do it, honestly. It’s time to see the quintessential Christmas superhero. It’s… turbo time.