A young woman who suffered abuse narrates how she rebuilds her life from a foster home after five years of aggression
The day that, still stunned by the blows, Verónica turned on the camera on her mobile to see her face, she knew that something had ended forever, but she still did not know what. This 23-year-old girl, whom we identified by a fictitious name for security reasons, pressed the button that activated the terminal’s front lens and, still nervous, began to check the injuries that her partner had inflicted on her face. punched in a fit of anger. “Then I could see what he had done to me,” she says.
It was the last episode in a story marked by panic and sadness, also the most serious of all those who suffered at the hands of her attacker throughout five endless years of relationship where she was the victim of physical and psychological abuse until she was left “without will to live.” The young woman has spent months in a foster home provided by the Municipal Team for Attention to Victims of Gender Violence of the Murcia City Council (Emavi), recomposing the painful puzzle of what happened. He can do it thanks to the police intervention that followed that rain of knuckles and the implementation of the protection resources for the victims that triggered his first police complaint, and where he has also found the necessary support to know that what was over that day was their relationship; and what was beginning, her life.
Verónica agrees to speak with the journalist “without thinking for a moment,” say the social workers who have helped her so that she can start a new stage with her youngest son. It has a very clear objective: that no abused woman ever feels alone in the face of the brutality of her aggressor, as it happened to her, so that no one can ever think that they have no choice but to continue taking blows or resist denouncing them. fear.
One in three cases of active gender violence in the Region corresponds to victims under 30 years of age.
Despite her young age, she accumulates a collection of sights, sounds and scars that she would rather erase, just like many other young women in the Fellowship. His is just one of the 1,254 cases of gender violence in victims under 30 years of age that are currently active in the Region. The figure assumes that below this range is concentrated in almost a third of the mistreated, 31.6%. A higher proportion than the average for Spain, where young women account for 3.8 points less than in the Community.
control and insults
Verónica met her attacker when she was still a minor, only 17 years old. “It was through a friend,” she recalls. They started dating and, at first, she says, “everything was going really well.” So much so that she did not take long to communicate to her family a news that fell like a bomb. «I got pregnant. My parents took it very badly. They threw me out of the house and then I was forced to go live with him. Unknowingly, they had just thrown her to the lions.
The faces of violence
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AGGRESSIONS
“One day he burned me with a cigarette just because I got up at three in the morning to go to the bathroom and took my cell phone with me: ‘Who are you talking to?'” -
HANDLING
«I did not realize it, but it was isolating me. There comes a time when you are like a puppet. If he says ‘dance’, you dance.” -
SUFFERING
“My hair fell out a lot. He had a bald spot. She felt anguish and just wanted to be in bed. She would get me up, change the kid and leave him watching TV all day »
The problems arose after Verónica gave birth to her son five years ago. Remember well how the first manipulations began. «He did not tell me directly not to go to such a place. But if I had stayed, he would get angry ». Control grew rapidly until the air around him thickened. “I wanted to study I wanted to do my things,” he admits. But if he went out, he would tell me that she was a slut, that she was a whore, he would push me… ».
One of the recurring points of conflict was the small window to the world that was left to him when he moved away from the street: his mobile phone. “I felt sad, alone, I was locked up at home . She no longer wanted to go out because he was bothered by everything. I didn’t want to fix myself.” In those circumstances, the last cable to the outside was the internet, but he couldn’t get close either. «He told me: ‘Why did you upload that photo? For the other?», and she ended up deleting it.
“One day he burned my hand with a cigarette, just because I got up at three in the morning to go to the bathroom and took my cell phone with me.” “Who are you talking to?” she yelled at him. For years she suffered scorn and blows. «I was getting squeals in the street, in front of everyone, and I was silent, “he recalls. She felt nullified. «There comes a time when you are like a puppet. If she says ‘dance’, you dance ».
The years of mistreatment were showing their faces on his body. «I know the hair fell a lot. She had a bald spot. She felt anguish. She just wanted to be in bed. She got me up, changed the child and left him watching TV all day, “Verónica admits. “She was alive on the outside, but dead on the inside.”
She was only brought out of that lethargy by the last beating, when the fists went straight to her face and she could see the wounds on a mobile phone that was no longer a window, but a mirror of horror.
It was a woman who convinced Verónica to take the step and report, a police officer. “I will never forget her face,” she says excitedly. «She told me that she was not alone, and I told her that she was. She didn’t have my mother, she didn’t have my family or my friends. She was alone with my son and without a job, she says. She then asked me not to worry and she told me about the help she had, that she could access a house and get out of there. Now I see there is a light. I did not know that this existed, “declares the young woman. “If I had known, she would have dated much sooner, so I want other women to know as well.”
“We have to get out of our heads that there is a victim profile”
After denouncing her attacker, Verónica was transferred to the regional Emergency Center for urgent reception, where victims of gender violence can stay for up to 15 days. When a woman in distress arrives there, she begins her search for an alternative safe accommodation like the one found for her. These resources, eleven in total in the Region, are located in Murcia, Cartagena, Lorca and Cieza, highlights Juana Herreros, head of the Equality service and coordinator of Emavi of the Murcia City Council. Any victim can access them or other resources in the regional network if they report their situation by calling 112, where there is a team specialized in gender violence 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. So far there have been 74 women and 61 minors, according to the balance of Social Policy. In the shelters, these women can begin to rebuild their lives safely, cared for and with financial support, while the professionals try to promote their training and job placement. “We want it to be the closest thing to a home, in normalized buildings where the neighbors don’t know where the women come from,” she says.
Both at Emavi and at the Care Centers for Women Victims of Gender Violence (Cavi), users receive help from professionals in psychology, social work, legal advice or education. There, an intervention plan is also established for them depending on their circumstances. “Each victim is unique. We have to get out of our heads that there is a profile of a battered woman, ”says Herreros.
take back the reins
“We try to make it face-to-face and individualized attention. Although as a result of the pandemic we have discovered that many prefer to be answered by telephone, especially for follow-ups, “he highlights. “What it is about is listening to them and creating a safe space where they can tell their truth, where we can help them rebuild their identity, strengthen their social inclusion and regain control of their lives.”
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