‘Dear Arthur, how nice that you have signed up for a service with us. Unfortunately, our policy does not allow men to work in childcare. Are you interested in a service at out-of-school care?”
Here is one of the responses that freelance pedagogical employee Arthur Krijgsman (48) has recently received from daycare centers. More than once he is told that an assignment cannot go ahead because he is a man. Sometimes he is still sent away on location. Or he may stay, provided he leaves the diaper changes to his female colleagues.
Krijgsman: “I’m happy if the company just explicitly admits that I’m not welcome because I’m a man. At the out-of-school care they are now open to it and they even like it when a man comes to work. But a man who would like to work with children between the ages of zero and four? That is sometimes still not done.”
A man who works in childcare is an exception. Only 6 percent of employees in Dutch childcare are male, according to figures from statistics bureau CBS. Most of them work in after-school care (BSO). “It is not for nothing that I am most often addressed as ‘teacher’ in the daycare,” says Krijgsman, laughing.
The lack of men is probably partly due to the sexual assault case at daycare center ‘t Hofnarretje in Amsterdam South, says former professor of pedagogy Louis Tavecchio. Ten years ago, employee Robert M. was arrested on suspicion of large-scale abuse of babies and toddlers. In 2014 he was sentenced to 19 years in prison and TBS with compulsory treatment. “Both nurseries and parents have become scared.”
As a result of this case, the ‘four eyes principle’ was introduced. This means that pedagogical staff must always be able to be seen or heard by another adult, if they are alone in front of the group. “Although this does not only apply to men, they still get the feeling that it is they who are under guardianship,” says Tavecchio. “The choice for a man to work at a daycare center has not become any easier.”
Branch association Social Childcare (BMK) has noticed that parents’ fears are starting to decrease in childcare for 0-4 year olds. “For after-school care, parents have been enthusiastic about men in the group for some time now,” said Vice-President Monique Wittebol. The BMK considers it very important for the development of children that more men come to work in childcare ‘because men bring with them different competences’ and is therefore trying to encourage this. “We organize meetings where this theme is discussed and we contribute to collective bargaining.
negotiations, making the profession more attractive for both men and women,” says Wittebol.
Tavecchio endorses the importance of men in childcare. “I am not gender neutral when it comes to pedagogical staff in childcare. Boys and girls need companions of different sexes. It is important to learn from an early age that it is normal for a man to work with young children. Rather than being a strange and sometimes unwanted exception.”
Looks from parents
Simon Hay (43) is one of the few male employees of childcare organization KindeRdam, active in the Rotterdam region. In addition to his work as a pedagogue, he conducts research at Leiden University into the pedagogical quality of childcare. “I was twelve when my brother was born and I thought it was so special that I immediately knew what I wanted to be when I grow up. Fortunately, I have not been held back by some of the comments in my environment. It wasn’t exactly cool to say as a sixteen-year-old that you want to work with babies.”
Not tough, but also somewhat suspicious, Hay soon noticed. When he was in the baby and toddler group, he had to deal with suspicious parents. “A man who works with young children is still a taboo. That makes you vulnerable in your profession. For example, a few weeks ago I fell in and stood on my arm during the shutdown with a six-month-old child. I was immediately aware that parents might think something of this. It’s just my job, and I’ve had it for years, but in some situations I still have to be alert to it.”
Yoran Blom (34) recognizes this. From the age of nineteen until a year ago, he worked in childcare. He now works as a pedagogical employee at a secondary vocational school and provides training in his profession. “When I came to pick up the children to take them from school to daycare, I was already afraid of the looks of parents. The children are happy to see you, run towards you and sometimes hang around your leg. Then I scanned the schoolyard to gauge the parents. It is a pity that as a man, with a lot of love for the profession, you had to be involved in this.”
Also read: A man on the group, that is much needed (2017)
Blom and Hay have repeatedly experienced a parent expressing concern about their presence. “Fortunately, a good conversation often helps,” says Hay. “I don’t take it personally, I take the concerns of parents seriously and show that I have a lot to offer their child in the educational field. Then they are often reassured and happy with me as a man in the group.”
busy guys
A male pedagogical employee can add a lot to a daycare center, says professor Tavecchio. For example, it is important for girls and especially for boys to have multiple male role models. “Male employees show that men can also care, comfort and coddle, thereby breaking through the stereotypical image of man. And vice versa, with traditionally masculine characteristics, they offer an alternative to the parenting style of some female employees.”
But what are those, typical male characteristics? And what is a typical female parenting style? The differences between female and male pedagogical staff are most apparent in ‘risky play’, is the experience of Yoran Blom. Like climbing trees or frolicking. “Women are usually more careful, men more easily leave the playing to the child.”
Arthur Krijgsman also sees that female colleagues – barring exceptions – are more likely to shout ‘be careful’ and ‘watch out’. They are again better at quieter, creative activities at the craft table. “Boys who are busier and more active may perceive their behavior as ‘wrong’ if they keep getting an example that doesn’t match who they are.”
Blom didn’t always feel like he could be himself at daycare. “The children didn’t always have to stand in line, wait for each other or sit on their buttocks. I felt that I had to live up to a feminine pattern of expectations, that I had to be gentle, tender and caring. And that there was no room for the masculine qualities I brought with me – being tough, taking risks, learning by trial and error.”
Because the behavior of girls will coincide more with that of the female leadership at school and in shelters, they will also receive more compliments than boys, Tavecchio expects. Educational expert Els Consuegra conducted research into gender discrimination in Flanders in 2015 and concluded on the basis of video recordings that teachers are stricter on boys than girls. More men in childcare and primary education could help break this pattern, Tavecchio thinks.
Male friendly environment
But getting more male staff to childcare is not easy. Rick Ploemen (29) provides training to pedagogical staff on the role of men in childcare. He sees that many nurseries are afraid of losing customers if they hire more men. His mission: to proclaim “that men may be there too”. To his delight, he already sees some change. For example, men are more often depicted in vacancies for pedagogical staff.
Yet more is really needed to get and keep men in childcare, thinks Ploemen. For example, employment contracts with more hours, career opportunities and combinations with other jobs can be considered. “Because with a three-day job, which is usual in shelters, you won’t get there if you have a family to support.” Because that is still seen more as a man’s task than that of a woman.
Also read this column by Marcel van Roosmalen: Man in shelter
The Branch Association for Social Childcare expects that more and more use will be made of childcare in the coming years, as a result of which employees can obtain contracts with more hours. Monique Wittebol: “This makes childcare, also for men, more attractive to work in.”
Ploemen finds a more man-friendly environment even more important. As far as he is concerned, that starts in the training and pedagogical books about childcare. “For example, the example of a female supervisor is always used in test questions.”
Arthur Krijgsman also continues to try to break through the ‘male taboo’. He prefers to read a book on his lap, rock babies to sleep and play football with boys and girls until he is eighty. “Which I can’t do at all, but I do my best.” And he challenges all daycare centers that still have discriminatory policies to hire a male colleague for a day. “Bet it is a wonderful enrichment for everyone?”
A version of this article also appeared in NRC on the morning of January 6, 2022
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