Annemiek: “During the first lockdown we continued to work at the kitchen table a bit, that made no sense. Then we bought desks and chairs. We have our own offices in the attic.”
Paul: “We now work completely from home. Monday Annemiek is home with the children and Friday I am. In any case, we divide the tasks very equally. We have fun work and we both think it’s important to put energy into it. At the same time, we also consciously choose time with the children. Sophie knows no other than the corona reality with two parents who work at home who always eat along.”
Annemiek: “During my maternity leave, I was approached by a former Shell colleague who worked at Heineken. Applying for a nine week old baby was tough. I had to get an online technical assessment to do. Fortunately, I worked hybrid for the first few weeks, which enabled me to meet colleagues at the office.”
Paul: „We are just a bit out of that first sleepless time. That first half year [met baby] is just chaos. One is a pet, two is a zoo is the warning we got.”
Annemiek: “It kind of feels that way. You may have had to hear a baby screaming a little too often while you were on the phone upstairs.”
Paul: “Yes, that was challenging. However, this period also had its advantages.”
Annemiek: „Not corona itself of course, but the shift among employers in thinking about flexible working. And what that offers us as young parents.”
Paul“For example, I could easily jump in and watch Lara for ten minutes if you wanted to shower.”
Structure
AnnemiekWe get up just before seven o’clock. We are sitting at the breakfast table around 7:30 am.”
Paul: „When Sophie comes down in the morning, she often wants to help. I don’t want to keep saying ‘you can’t do anything’, because she still has to learn and it’s nice when she can make porridge herself – but it goes twice as slowly. That is why there is a lot of structure, especially in the morning: I lay out my clothes the night before and try to set the table as well.”
Annemiek: “Around eight, Paul goes to the nursery. Then the working day begins.”
Paul: “During the first lockdowns, the crèche closed twice, while I just got a new job. That was annoying. Especially in the beginning we did not want to ask our parents for help, because they belong to the risk group and my mother still worked in health care. Then we did a lot ourselves.”
Annemiek: „You took the children in the morning and I in the afternoon. We both had to work through the evening. After a few weeks, that energy was really gone.”
PaulFortunately, the crèches will remain open during this lockdown. The children go to daycare for three days. I often bring and fetch Annemiek. Sophie always mentions that when I say goodbye to her at daycare. ‘Get mommy?’, she asks.”
Annemiek: “Before corona and without working from home, the mornings were more hectic. For example, we were both standing next to our bed at six o’clock. Whoever didn’t take Sophie’s turn was often gone before seven.”
Paul“The fact that we can now eat peacefully at the table together so often has perhaps been the biggest change in our lives due to corona.”
Annemiek: “Just before the lockdown we moved from Amsterdam to Zeist – wonderful. But the buzz I do miss the Javastraat. Due to corona, a lot is closed in Zeist. You went to toddler music class with Sophie, that has also stopped because of corona.”
Paul: „The forest is a five-minute bike ride away, which is very nice. Last week I had two work calls that I could make on foot. Then I get on my bike, walk through the woods on the phone for an hour and then go back to my desk. What I really miss is the diversity, for example in terms of food.”
Annemiek: „We regularly picked up on the Javastraat. We cook a lot more now.”
Paul: “We have an Excel file in which we describe what we are going to eat that day for each day. We often think a week ahead. It arose when we had to pass on the grocery order a week in advance because the delivery schedule was otherwise full. Then a delivery person with eighteen bags would show up at the door and the question was always what the hell we should do with it.”
Standard stuff
Paul: “Around the birth of Lara we fell back on the standard things. That’s okay, but we both enjoy eating new dishes. We can do that by planning it a bit.”
Paul: “We are not vegetarian, but we are aware of it. In the Excel file we keep track of how much vegetarian, meat and fish we eat: vegetarian on average four to five days a week. Minced meat because of the lasagna becomes vegetarian or no mincemeat, because I really don’t taste the difference. But once in a while I like a real stew with meat in the winter.”
Annemiek: “Around seven o’clock the children go to bed and we always read a book with them.”
Paul: “Due to corona and the birth of the children, this period is very family-oriented. But we feel blessed. The trajectory to children has been a hospital trajectory. We’ve been hoping for quite a while. Now that we have two sweet, happy, healthy daughters, it makes it easier to take a step back every now and then and realize that there are just four of us at the table here. Then they don’t eat their broccoli for a day.”
In Rush Hour, couples and singles tell how they combine work and private life. Participate? Mail to [email protected]
A version of this article also appeared in
NRC Handelsblad of December 31, 2021
A version of this article also appeared in NRC in the morning of December 31, 2021
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