At the end of the seventies of the last century, when good Spaniards were still mourning Francisco Franco and prolonging his funeral by financing pious military coups, the first feminist song in many decades was heard in this country. It was a social and cultural phenomenon of exceptional dimensions. The catchy melody of that hymn to uterine freedom constantly blared from the radios in the neighbor’s patio (the patios at that time were only for neighbors, since the women had to take care of the house: they did not have access to a job, nor to studies, nor to a bank account without the permission of the husband or father, and that made them very homely, what would the tradwife).
At village festivals, as soon as the out-of-tune members of the orchestra out-of-tune the first three basic chords of that feminist anthem, the girls threw themselves into the center of the square and effervesced like champagne bubbles going down and up. The song was titled Girls are warriors. And it was solemn bullshit.
Although I don’t know too much about contemporary history, because I have lived almost all of it and that is very confusing, I believe that songs like those were written directly by fascists. Let’s see if I explain myself, I already know it sounds cliché and fatal.
Franco’s death caught the regime’s oligarchs by surprise, who were convinced, by God and by their faith, that Franco was immortal. And, as strange as it may seem, after the tragic death of the leader the oligarchs began to make songs. They composed more songs than coups d’état. When your world collapses, the best thing is to sing among the rubble. Like those Gazan children who rock and sing muddy on top of the last stone of their house, under which their parents, grandparents and siblings lie. We see it every day on the internet because the journalists who film it have no other way to spread the word. Neither newspapers nor television stations buy them. Another child singing and crying over his dead parents? Too seen. Find something else.
But let’s go back to the oligarchs, who are the people that interest us common people. Suddenly, since Franco had died unexpectedly, the oligarchs went half crazy and started writing songs, like hippie. To reach ecstasy, they did not need LSD or marijuana. Ecclesial incense was enough for them, which made hanging much cheaper.
Girls are warriorsa great feminist anthem of those times, today seems written by the incorrupt arm of Torcuato Luca de Tena. “Behind a bar with a schoolboy look / The girls are warriors / In the magazines or everything in nature / The girls are warriors.”
The guys from the group Coz who sang this were, of course, long-haired. It was necessary to put longhairs on public television so that it seemed that we were heading towards democracy and modernity under the protection of the Bourbon crown. You also had to include some faggot on the radio and TV, always self-parodying and funny. And some unfinished lesbian, but very unfinished, because lesbianism, like everything related to women’s freedom, was considered a very dirty thing.
Times have changed and now we have a more feminist monarchy and society, we are informed from Zarzuela. He tells us, for example, the 20 Minutes that “Princess Leonor spent her saddest birthday, because of DANA, in the company of her sister Sofía in Marín.” His cousin Victoria Federica, the girls are warriors, instead of going into seclusion, she accused Pedro Sánchez of cowardice for fleeing from Paiporta after receiving a simple stick.
But let’s not consider Victoria Federica the winner either. According to all the magazines and newspapers of the regime, one of the great virtues of our future queen Leonor is her good aim. I don’t know if it’s too reassuring that a future queen with an elk’s eye can shoot you down from three miles away like a fawn. But since history shows us that we can always trust the Bourbons, let us remain calm.
Just as at the end of the seventies the regime’s torcuatos wrote the song Girls are warriorsnow Zarzuela publishes The Bourbons are warriors. And he puts Victoria Federica in charge of the modernity operation, disproving the work of the President of the Government in the midst of a tragedy. It is an obvious government attrition strategy programmed since Zarzuela. Victoria Federica does not act alone, because a Pont d’Alma always awaits those who act alone from the monarchy. It’s all very crude, but let’s go with it.
#Bourbons #warriors
