In the 21st century, if there is something established in the themes of love, it is use of mobile applications. There are those who are reluctant to use these tools where they do not know what they can find, but those who do resort to them have the possibility of doing it very well, discarding what they do not want or know that will not “fit” in the future. .
To discover where you are when it comes to finding love, Lara Ferreiro, psychologist, expert in relationships and Tinder ambassador, has created a test that allows evaluate if you are ‘matching’ in a healthy way or not. You just have to choose between one of the options: A, B or C. Answer honestly and discover your potential once you have finished it!
1. Do you really know what you are looking for in dating apps and are you consistent with what you say and do?
A) No. I don’t even know what I want. But I don’t want to feel bad! I just left him with my ex and I want to forget him by meeting someone else as soon as possible.
B) I think so. Although I end up accepting less than what I deserve for fear of being alone. From time to time, I relapse with an ex or past hookup if I’m not with someone…
C) Of course! In apps I want to connect with someone for real without beating around the bush.
2. You’re swiping and you see a gorgeous person. In his profile he says that he just wants a relationship and you are looking for a relationship or something more serious. What are you doing?
A) I click on the right and wait to do ‘Match’ to talk to him. He’s so handsome! What difference does it make to have a crazy night?
B) It depends on the moment. If I’m down, I hit the right button and if I play ‘Match’ my spirits rise. What if I invite you to have coffee?
C) Swipe left! I prefer to ‘Match’ with someone who is looking for what I am looking for.
3. Your Tinder profile, what image do you think it gives?
A) It doesn’t completely define me. I have strange photos, with people, in the mirror, or in a swimsuit… My description is incomplete, I don’t take it too seriously. Also, I don’t have a verified profile either.
B) I allude to the love I need. I use my bio to talk about some trauma and I make it clear that I don’t want them to hurt me anymore.
C) I give a good image. They are natural and flattering photos. In addition, I have worked on my bio detailing what I want in a fun way and, of course, I have a verified profile.
4. How do you behave in these apps?
I never take the initiative to write. My attitude is passive and I wait for people to talk to me. But then if they write to me, sometimes I get lazy and don’t answer. If they tell me strange things, I go along because I hesitate.
B) It takes me more than a week to respond. It’s just that I have little time and I don’t get in much! I come and go and along the way, I entertain myself…
C) I take the initiative to write, I am proactive and I answer every day trying to break the ice. I invest at least one part of my day on Tinder.
5. Have you agreed to go on a date with someone, even knowing that they are not looking for the same things as you, with the false hope that one day they will change their mind?
A) Yes, and if it comes up, I could have a one night stand. I think this way I have a better chance of him catching on to me.
B) Yes, I give him a chance and if he doesn’t like me in a short time, I stop meeting him.
C) No. I’m not hurting myself! I only hang out with people who are looking for the same thing as me. Even before the date, I ask them to make sure, I check their networks and only stay with verified profiles.
6. Imagine that the date is not going as you thought. Your ‘match’ won’t stop talking about his exes, he turns them on, he won’t let you talk, he’s on his phone without paying attention and makes out of place comments. What would you do?
A) I put up with whatever it takes because he is the first person who wants to meet with me. And at the end of the date, I write to him telling him that I would like to meet again. Surely, the next time, it will improve.
B) I tell him to stop talking bad to me about his exes, to put down his cell phone and not to mess with my weight. If he keeps doing it, I’ll finally leave.
C) I set clear limits for him, telling him that I am not going to allow him anything he has done. As soon as I can, I’ll ask for the bill and leave. At the end, if he tells me to meet again, I explain why I decided not to.
7. You have been going on several dates for a month with a person you love and you are afraid that he or she will continue using dating apps. You would like to have exclusivity. How do you act?
A) I get angry because he keeps talking to other people on Tinder when he meets me very frequently.
B) In a direct and abrupt way, I tell him that we are a couple or exclusive and that I don’t want him to meet anyone else.
C) I have a calm conversation. I explain to him that for me exclusivity is important to continue meeting and stop meeting more people. If he doesn’t want to, I tell him that the best thing for me will be to stop seeing each other and find what I’m looking for.
8. Do you know how to differentiate what it means to have attraction?
Year! Isn’t it the same? If I’m attracted to him, even if we’re not compatible, I still stay with that person and I still have a good time for the moment.
B) Yes I know what everything is. Attraction is what you like and compatibility is whether you have the same plans for the future. I pay more attention to what I like, I don’t usually ask about his future plans or what he likes to do.
C) Of course! Attraction is basic but compatibility is the most important thing. For example, if I want a stable relationship and he wants to travel the world in the next few years, we are not compatible and I will have to stop meeting him.
9. Are you emotionally responsible with the people you talk to or meet on Tinder?
A) No, neither are they with me. V for revenge!
B) Yes, I don’t hurt anyone. I say what I need in an empathetic way. I know that my actions have consequences on others and I try to act in a healthy way.
C) Yes, I am very emotionally responsible. I don’t play with others and even if I haven’t liked a person after the date, and they ask me to meet again, I don’t ask them. ghostingI tell him to do great, but I explain to him that I haven’t had chemistry.
10. If you already have a partner and after six months you discover something unacceptable (he has been unfaithful to you) that is a big deal for you, what would you do?
A) I’m starting to meet people and I’m even considering having something with someone. I fix Karma!
B) I continue with that person, I try to forgive him and understand what happened. But I would monitor all his social networks and his cell phone. I’d go FBI investigating everything!
C) Finally, I leave him. I grieve in a healthy way and when I’m recovered, I return to the world of dating on Tinder because I’m looking to connect with someone who loves and respects me.
Test results
Mostly A answers: profile in search of adventure. «You are failing at Healthy Dating. If this is your profile… Your dating is not healthy at all! You allow things you shouldn’t. But don’t be discouraged! This has a solution,” emphasizes Lara Ferreiro.
The recommendations for you:
– Check your self-esteem: value yourself to avoid toxic behaviors, your emotional well-being is key to healthy dating!
– Make a list of what you are looking for in love and write it down to be clear about what you deserve. Act accordingly.
– Say goodbye to former flirts or ex-partners: close cycles with those who have affected your heart.
Mostly B answers: romantic profile that falls in love with the first person who passes by. Could be improved on Healthy Dating, approved by a whisker. If this is your profile… You are halfway there. The love expert says that you have little left to be an expert, although you may end up accepting things that you don’t want because of your romantic side. “But love can’t do everything!” he says. The recommendations for you:
– Check what you really want. You have to act accordingly with your desires and requests.
– Write your biography again. Remember that Tinder is not the psychologist’s couch, you have to put positive information. Don’t tell all your traumas first!
– Don’t take so long to answer in the apps. You are not constant when it comes to writing and interacting. I suggest that you set a minimum of minutes a day or every so often that is reasonable and commit to meeting it.
– Set clear limits. Do not tolerate behavior that is inappropriate from other people. Say it clearly and without being aggressive. In the event that they do not meet your boundaries, those people should not be in your life. Also do not forgive anything that is not acceptable.
Most answers C: expert profile, the green flag in person. Healthy Dating Expert, congratulations on this level. If this is your profile… You have to continue like this. “I know that the path is not easy, but you do not give up who you are for anyone and you are truly authentic,” says Lara. The recommendations for you:
– Don’t be too demanding. It’s perfect to know what you want and what you desire, but there will be times when you don’t have to be so rigid because you can miss out on opportunities with wonderful people because they don’t meet your ideal standards.
– Review your negotiables and non-negotiables of your ideal candidate. You have to be flexible. For example, if a person is shorter than what would be ideal for you, don’t rule them out.
– Don’t do job interviews with your dates. It is important to be clear about what you want, but it should not seem like you are interviewing the other person, as if you were in the workplace. You will be able to do the interrogation with great art. Talking about you and asking questions.
– Don’t let your past contaminate your present. It’s great that you have worked on yourself, you have everything very clear and know how to set limits in a spectacular way, but don’t put up insurmountable barriers that make it difficult for others to know you.
#Test #discover #healthy #dates #questions #reveal #love
