A sentence in the press statement with which director of football affairs Marc Overmars said goodbye to football club Ajax this week continued to resonate for a long time: “I am ashamed.” In the copious foreign reporting it was said: “I am ashamed†I’m ashamed of me” and “J’ai honte de moi” – often as a headline above a news item.
The publicly professed shame for sexual misconduct is “insanely good news,” says Aukje Nauta. She is professor of organizational psychology in Leiden and an expert in behavior and conflict in the workplace. “By acknowledging your shame, you admit: I was wrong. Then you create room for improvement”, says Nauta, who wrote the book about the usefulness of shame Never pretend again wrote (2021). “Shame can be a nice crowbar for starting conversations about how we treat each other more equally.”
For the time being, these conversations in the various boardrooms seem to lead mainly to damage control† The program ANGRY revealed multiple cases of sexually transgressive behavior by powerful individuals on TV show last month The Voice or Holland† That started a chain reaction that led to the withdrawal of a Member of Parliament and a journalist last week alone for sexual misconduct. Previously, the VPRO withdrew from the distribution of a series of music documentaries because a main character in them would have forced himself on a young editor years ago.
Outside the spotlight, there is more real talk, points out Marjan Olfers, professor of sports and law, who has done a lot of research into misconduct in sports. “I hear that men ask women if they have also experienced cross-border cases.” She gets a lot of emails from companies with questions about social safety, and notifications. “Also from women who, for example, only now report that they have been touched in unwanted places a long time ago.”
Because in the latest series of revelations about sexual misconduct by more or less powerful men, almost everything is uncomfortably familiar. Also the now much-discussed penises: the concept of ‘dickpic’ is definitely ingrained in the collective consciousness. Men have been sending unsolicited photos to women for years, just like manipulative text messages.
#MeToo Movement
Such practices seemed to be put to an end in 2017 by the #MeToo movement, which got underway when women in the US spoke out about abuse in the film industry, among others. In the Netherlands, this led to revelations about sexual abuse by powerful men in cultural schools, at universities and in the casting world. “After #MeToo, people thought: we are now better at tackling abuses. By the The Voice we realize: we are still a long way from that”, says organizational advisor Peter Fijbes, who helps companies combat culture of fear.
Still, according to Fijbes, #MeToo has set a lot in motion. “Much more often than before, companies and government institutions organize training courses to improve social safety. They more often have external agencies conduct independent investigations into abuse of power,” says Fijbes. “We have started taking victims more seriously. Then the consequence is that you have to act against the perpetrators.”
In addition, under pressure from Black Lives Matter and the ‘woke’ movement, society is forced to give people other than the white straight man a full place. This week the chief of police in London was forced to resign after the publication of a report about text messages full of racism, homophobia and misogyny sent by officers.
“There is truly a global shift towards more inclusion and diversity,” Nauta notes. Nauta calls the ‘quick appointment’ this week of Mariëtte Hamer as government commissioner for sexually transgressive behavior a ‘sign of the times’. Olfers sees a similar sign in the fact that the bank ABN Amro is examining the sponsor contract with Ajax after Overmars’s departure. “Companies realize that customers will simply walk away if they don’t take undesirable behavior seriously.”
This kind of behavior is no longer just about sexual comments, messages and touches like during #MeToo. „The many reports that The Voice Visiting confidential counselors is about much more than sexual intimidation, it is about abuse of power in the broadest sense,” says Fijbes. “People have stood up and say: just because you’re my boss doesn’t mean you can treat me as inferior.”
Young gymnasts
The sports world is at the forefront, partly because NOC*NSF had research carried out years ago into the abuse of power in sports. A damning investigation revealed, among other things, mental abuse of young gymnasts by trainers. “The sports world is an intensified version of society,” Olfers said. “The sports world acts like a mirror for society, because the spotlight is constantly on the sport.”
An example of the sports-as-a-pressure cooker, according to Olfers, is a major riot in the US over a professional football player who assaulted his partner. “That immediately put the topic of domestic violence on the agenda.” Although formally a private matter, the club was forced to sack the player. Something similar happened to the Heracles football club in the Netherlands. A player caused an accident overnight while intoxicated that killed a four-year-old boy; after protest from supporters, the player was suspended.
Private life is wider the debate crept in. For example, an ex of the retired MP Gijs van Dijk (PvdA) reported that he was also manipulative in their relationship. Fijbes does not want to comment on this case. He does say: “In interviews, victims often want to explain two things. One: that the slap on the butt is part of the person’s entire manipulative and intimidating behavior. Two: that more people could have seen this behavior.” He also notices that: “That there is more talk about: who should have known? And have to do something?” As with Ajax director Edwin van der Sar, who says he did not know anything about the apps from Overmars.
Society has become filled with shame, Nauta notes, and not just about transgressive behaviour. “Also about our slavery past, for example.” Last week, the chief executive of De Nederlandsche Bank presented, visibly embarrassed, the research report on his bank’s involvement in the slave trade. According to Nauta, the shame can be fruitful: “If the victims are less ashamed and the perpetrators a little more, we can talk together and agree on what to do.” not done is.”
A version of this article also appeared in NRC Handelsblad on 12 February 2022
A version of this article also appeared in NRC in the morning of February 12, 2022
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