Human interactions are, without a doubt, fascinating and complex. Although most of the conversations we have on a daily basis are usually cordial in nature, even a seemingly simple dialogue can, from one moment to the next, transform into an great discussion. Sometimes, even without trying, a person can trigger a defensive reaction or a misunderstanding simply because of how he presents his ideas. In this sense, a scientific study has revealed that there is a phrase used by people with highemotional intelligenceto stop an argument in an elegant way.
The study, published in Cognitive Science in 2016, revealed that, when shift focus from confrontation to cooperationpeople can make their interlocutor be more responsive to other points of view. The key, according to the research, is in how the dialogue is presented and, specifically, in the language used.
When conducting the research, the authors of the study observed how the cooperative interactions they achieved soften the postures of the participants and they made them less rigid regarding their own ideas. “Participants who participated in cooperative interactions were less inclined to accept that there was an objective truth about that topic than those who participated in a competitive interaction… When people participate in cooperative discussions, they view the truth as more subjective,” the researchers noted. . This perspective, which conceives truth as something flexible and not absoluteallows an opening that encourages mutual understanding instead of the confrontation.
One of the key phrases that is often used to invite dialogue in a constructive way is: «It’s interesting that you say that…». According to the researchers, this expression, which It is not a defensive response or a way to immediately accept or reject the other’s argument.sample curiosity and opens a space in which both parties can express their points of view without either feeling like they ‘lose’ or ‘win’ the argument.
Other expressions that can stop a discussion
In addition to this phrase, there are other expressions which, according to experts, allow maintaining a respectful and productive conversation without the other person feeling attacked.
-
“I wonder if…”
-
“It’s interesting that you say that because I see it differently…”
-
“I may be wrong, but…”
-
«How funny! I had a different reaction…”
-
«I’m curious. How did you come to that conclusion?
-
“I’m a little nervous to say this, but…”
-
«On the one hand, I understand what you are saying. On the other hand…”
These phrases have something in common, they all express curiosity and openness instead of a confrontational attitude. But words are not enough, since the tone is essential, the sentences must sound authentic, because if they seem forced or disinterested, they lose their effectiveness and can even cause the opposite effect.
This skill is particularly useful for those who occupy positions of authoritywhere hierarchical relationships can strain interactions. In these contexts, an employee who proposes an idea that challenges the way things are done might initially adopt a defensive attitude. In that context, if a boss’s response is something like, “Explain to me why that makes sense,” the other person might feel like they’re being ignored. challenges or discredits. On the other hand, phrases like “I’ve never thought of it that way; Can you explain to me how to do it? turn interaction into collaboration where the idea is put at the center of the conversation, not the people. Even if an agreement is not reached in the end, The employee will have the certainty that he was heard and valuedmaking any disagreement less painful.
Therefore, when someone disagrees with you, instead of just countertry some of these opening phrases and, above all, try understand your position. The conversation will not only be more enrichingbut it will open the door for the learning is mutual.
#Science #confirms #phrase #people #high #emotional #intelligence #elegantly #stop #argument
