The state of closure caused by the pandemic has been a test laboratory for relationships. So it’s no wonder if the end of the Korona period affects relationships, says relationship trainer Marianna Stolbow.
Interest rate restrictions the end is approaching and freedom looms. Wonderful, many think, but others may be excited as well.
What does the new freedom do for our relationships? He may have been close with his spouse for so long that the other’s club has begun to forcibly get bored. And if someone has managed to make a new relationship during a corona lock, will it still last even as we move back to the former patterns? After all, was admiration just a patch for the loneliness of exceptional circumstances?
What about when Singles creeping in corona celibate are released after a confinement? Is there a similar mating boom in Finland as after the wars?
The confinement caused by the pandemic has been quite a test laboratory for a relationship, says the relationship trainer Marianna Stolbow.
The corona lock has plagued not only singles but also established relationships. In this story, he answers six topical questions about the relationship.
“In many respects, we have been forced to focus on nuclear issues.”
Stolbow notes that in a corona occlusion, the ratio was measured.
“We were snatched away from a life where relationship problems could be hidden in busy work and hobbies. We were also deprived of holiday trips that were expected like the moon rising: If only everything there would be solved and went as if in the tourist advertisements.
That’s why Stolbow thinks it’s good if the problems have now surfaced.
“In many respects, we have been forced to focus on the core issues: What unites us and what we did before the constant rush entered the picture.”
At the end of the corona lock, it may be frightening that the spouse will fall into the job gap again. According to Stolbow, it means a state of perpetual absence, i.e. a situation in which one or both parties do not know or want to limit the time they give to work and hobbies on the one hand and to family and relationships on the other.
“This is a multi-relationship problem,” Stolbow says.
1. How do you know that you should still continue the relationship?
“It’s worth continuing a relationship if both are interested in trying. It succeeds if both have the right motives, ie everyday life feels better in two than alone, despite the difficulties.
The relationship is worth continuing as long as both are willing to ask and question, listen to the other, and explore themselves.
It is the duty of both to show interest in the relationship and also to turn to outside help if the other feels the need. A discussion of hopes, priorities, and fears is valuable even when you feel like you are really far from consensus.
A relationship is viable if both are interested in learning new relationship skills. The key is to learn to talk about your own feelings instead of messing with another’s faults or the badness of the relationship. When he opens up, he sometimes reaches the limits of his own courage, but as long as there is a will, there is also hope. ”
2. When is it time to resign?
“If a family member is afraid, the relationship has clearly come to an end.
Fear does not have to be limited to the threat of physical violence. There is much more to fear. For example, you may be afraid to talk about certain things, tell some things about yourself, or say your own opinions.
Ultimately, the question is whether all family members, children and adults dare to say without fear or even dress the way they want. In a word: live a life that looks like itself.
For an adult, one subject of fear may be the betrayal of their own endurance. If you find that a relationship takes so much energy that it is no longer enough to be a parent, it is worth considering whether the relationship makes sense. ”
3. What if you fall in love with someone else in the drug of freedom?
“Falling in love happens far more than what people dare to reveal. But they don’t necessarily need to move forward.
The value of falling in love lies in the fact that it tells what the person in love feels has missed not only in their own relationship. It is often a matter of lack of appreciation, attention or just time. All of this is reflected in the relationship and, before long, also in its sexuality.
Infatuation is, therefore, a great mirror that tells you what’s going on, who I am and what I miss. This in turn provides the tools to build your own relationship.
It is always important to talk to your partner about the insights that come with falling in love. If the relationship is safe for both, you can also tell your partner about falling in love – not to insult or threaten, but as a doctrine and a building block for a new phase. ”
4. I have recently started a new relationship and the transition from standard time to scare. What if the relationship turns out to be just a patch for coronary loneliness?
“It is true that the relationships made during the corona come into a completely different light when the restrictions end. At the latest, then, you need to introduce your new fascination to your close circle of friends. And how do you react yourself when your partner opens up his or her own world to you and at the same time how he or she behaves in it?
As normal conditions begin, the reality of the relationship bursts open and its normal state is revealed. It may be that you no longer agree on how much time you want to spend together and how much space each needs. Jealousy, desire for ownership, and addiction may creep into the relationship.
If we had a test by which the duration of a relationship could really be measured, we would be billionaires. In any case, exceptional circumstances have been a very good touchstone for many relationships.
It could also happen that with freedom, the relationship breaks down into a new boom. ”
5. I’ve been alone the entire corona-time. How do I screw myself back into the relationship market?
“Low self-esteem is a katala guy because the more meaningful the encounter, the more confident it pushes to the surface. The more important I find someone, the greater the state of low self-esteem. After a long period of solitude, this can be accentuated.
In principle, self-esteem should be based entirely on self-esteem. However, we are always sensitive to the gazes, words, touches, and ways others treat us. New encounters support or murmur self-esteem.
The more you try to be something other than you are, the more confident the relationship will collide with the wall. Looking inward, knowing yourself, and valuing yourself with your own weaknesses and sensitivities is the pillar you should rely on in a weak moment.
Could you think you like yourself even though you know you are fragile and insecure. You only need and accept by your side a person who likes you even after seeing these traits.
If someone doesn’t accept your uncertainties, he or she is presumably not your person.
In a healthy relationship, you can only live on your own. When you don’t have to pretend, you dare to learn something new, for example, to resort to another. ”
6. I have lived without sex relationship for over a year. What happens when normal interaction becomes possible?
“People now have a huge desire to meet others and also fall in love.
It has been asked whether the post-coronation could go the same way as in the post-war years. Finland also saw a huge mating boom at that time, which resulted in the emergence of so-called large age groups. Great increase in childbirth statistics is still.
The question is particularly interested in because I am formerly a trained historian. However, we are still too close to Korona time to answer that.
The post-war period was characterized by tremendous confidence in the future and the prospect of an ever-improving society. Young people today may not have that view, although opening up after a pandemic may give rise to such a small moment.
Just because there is a desire to meet others and fall in love does not necessarily mean that there is a desire to form a lasting relationship, as you did after the war. ”
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