Reader opinion The big talk skills of Finns should be branded in the world

Opinion|Reader’s opinion

The Swede my workplace is a popular dating game. In the first week of the new employees, we watch a Youtube video together in which an American woman asks strangers about the big questions in life. What would you do if you found out you were going to die tomorrow? What do you dream of? What childhood experience has shaped you the most? What are you afraid of?

Watching a video is, of course, meant to create an atmosphere where you dare to be vulnerable in front of others. Many lunch conversations often fall on an unfortunate superficial level: we know each other seemingly much, but little of what matters on a large scale in life. After the video, we wipe our corners and present the so-called big talk issues for each other, which builds trust and cohesion in the work community.

Just Yankee style small talk prevented my insult to Swedish society for a long time. It seemed awkward to add a mandatory hur är läget det är bra tack hur är det själv? -litania at the beginning of each discussion. Like a dance I didn’t know how to choreograph. In Stockholm’s business culture småprat however, it is a vital skill in creating and maintaining networks. At its best, it’s a fun ritual and an integral part of basic courtesy behaviors – a casual conversation that leaves everyone in a good mood.

Small Talkia however, the Finn is much more interesting big talk.

I recently met a Finnish friend I hadn’t seen in many years. I greet my friend sitting next to his suitcase with a happy “Moiii what’s up!” with an exclamation point, and in response I received an in-depth analysis of the state of the relationship, work, and housing. I had imagined that those conversations would take place after dinner in the wee hours of the night at the hotel, but we couldn’t get any further than Tikkurila’s station restaurant.

Also in the circle of friends of my youth, the round of belonging immediately dives to the deep end. When there are only a few hours a year in common, one’s own life events are talked about directly and without twisting.

When I run into my high school boyfriend, I have time to think that for once I bother grinding small talk skills are useful. I was prepared to scratch the surface, to look successful and happy in the eyes of my ex. I was amazed when the answer was unpretentious, profound and honest even after years. At five minutes, we had already discussed both our career aspirations ten years ago and our dreams for the future.

Although Sometimes I hope that there will be more meaningless conversation in good spirits in Finland as well big talk beyond compare. Little talk can help break the ice, but big talk builds relationships that last time and distance.

Loviisa Läärä

technology professional

Stockholm, Sweden

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