Since it is not possible to provide an exhaustive answer in 15 seconds let alone do therapy, I decided to select some of the doubts, from the requests and of reflections that you shared with me in the Instagram box of TPI “Therapy in 15 seconds“And that in the last period with variable constancy you have seen appear on my profile”Giulia Amandolesi Psychologist“. Many of your questions required and deserved more time than the one dedicated, which is why my choice fell on two questions that you have submitted to me more frequently. In short, no more chatter, let’s get started!
Is psychotherapy useful?
Assuming that the psychotherapy is structured exactly like any other learning process, so through the use of theory, observation, attempts and exercises, we will learn for example a new language, a new recipe, to surf, to use new technologies to our advantage, in the same way we could learn to manage phobias, anxieties, fears or relationship difficulties.
Our brain structure doesn’t work that differently from our body, if we train it with a goal we will get a change in that direction, exactly as when we train the abs it will hopefully be reflected with a fantastic “turtle effect”.
Each of the modifications that are structured in our psychological processes leads to morphological changes of our brain structures or in the functioning of the brain, which then translates into practical changes in behavior and thinking.
So, in other words, thehe psychotherapy can propose to our mind valid alternatives to behaviors considered by the subject to be dysfunctional and which, if understood, solidified and repeated over time, can result in neuronal changes. These changes can guarantee us in a long and lasting period of time the patient’s implementation of behaviors aimed at his own well-being and contrary to those previously improvised to defend himself from pain.
So yes, psychotherapy is needed and a further significant proof, in response to this question, has been obtained in recent years, thanks to the use of neuroimaging techniques. The results, in fact, show that the psychotherapeutic paths undertaken by patients are able to modify their functional brain activity and that these changes go hand in hand with the progress of the clinical path. We can conclude by saying that the principles behind psychotherapy can be complex, not always intuitive but not arbitrary, mysterious or magical.
How do you know when a relationship is over?
Each relationship has its own balance and thus also its own way of declining rhythms, developments and eventual epilogues. Thus, a relationship that appears burnt from the outside is being rearranged, another that seethes with passion and sweetness, tries instead to avoid maddening doubts and fears. From the outside everything appears simple and clear but it is not always so (we are careful what we project onto others, very often we say much more about ourselves than about the other, but this is another matter). In short, theand internal dynamics of a couple are sometimes also foreign to the couple itself.
The reason why we ask ourselves questions like “but will it be over between us?”, Which may seem completely obvious, is that the internal gaze is often constrained by emotions, sensations and feelings that influence our capacity for analysis, making everything more complex.
Relationships are not about two people interacting but rather two worlds in interaction, each of which has its own story and characters that characterize it. This is why a quarrel that on the one hand can appear completely out of place and exaggerated, on the other hand is a question of principle on which he will never be able to pass on.
In relationships we project a lot of ourselves, of our experiences, of our experiences and very often we use intercourse to disinfect old wounds, to respond to otherwise neutered needs, to feel satisfied. Relationships have often ended for some time, but what does not end, or rather what we do not want to end, is what that relationship represents for us, that is, what we set out to mend, heal, re-balance.
So a child who has felt unloved will accept a relationship that doesn’t make him happy as long as there is someone by his side to guarantee his safety and protection. A misunderstood child will become a silent adult who is not always able to express and receive love. But that relationship will be experienced as a ransom, it’s how that grown-up child will say “hey but then I’m deserving of love”. Who wants to stop being worthy of love? Who does not want to be redeemed from the injustices suffered? Many relationships are broken relationships, yes. But are they really fake for us?
The articles of the psychologist Giulia Amandolesi up TPI
1. Love is no longer made as it once was (by Giulia Amandolesi); // 2. Smart working: the risks of working from home and how to avoid them (by Giulia Amandolesi); // 3. How to choose the right psychologist for you (by Giulia Amandolesi); // 4. Anxiety, a parallel pandemic