“Don’t be looking at that lady’s butt! She’s my wife!” That angry claim was made by the bartender at Bar Ahunda to a customer who, having just arrived at the bar, did not take his eyes off, in effect, the attractive gluteal region of a lady sitting a few benches away.
The subject replied: “And who is watching you? I was staring into space, without paying attention to what you are saying.” “Ah!” snorted the man from the bar. “And on top of that, you’re playing dumb! Don’t take me for an idiot. I’ve already seen that you don’t take your eyes off my wife’s hips.” He repeated the other with a dignified attitude: “I tell you again, my lord, that I was not seeing that.
I am far from incurring in such lightness. I don’t even think about such things. And don’t bother me with his claims anymore. Serve me a double teculo”. When Charles De Gaulle was president of France, he was struck by seeing an office near his office in which two old men were sitting at desks with an air of being bored -both the old men and the desks-. He asked which dependency was that, and the elders themselves gave him the information.
It was the Office of Claims for Damages Caused in the Franco-Prussian War. That conflict had ended nearly a century ago, and no one had any claim to make, but the office still existed. President Kennedy noted that three soldiers served each cannon that fired blanks at military ceremonies. One of them loaded the cannon and the other fired it. The third did nothing; he just stood by the piece at attention. It was necessary to resort to an army historian to find the reason for this strange situation.
Formerly each cannon was pulled by a mule, and the animal was frightened by the shot of the weapon. It was necessary for a soldier to contain her so that she would not run away. Over time, the cannons became motorized and the mules disappeared, but not the soldiers in charge of stopping them. I’m talking about bureaucracy, and its strong self-preservation instinct. Immovable things are in this world. These include Everest, the pyramids of Egypt, and bureaucracy.
It fights for its preservation and tries to multiply in a similar way to cell division. He also looks for a way to justify his existence, for which he invents a thousand and one ways to fuck his neighbor, that is, the citizens. That is what the SAT is doing by requiring taxpayers to prove their tax situation, which has been a source of problems and countless inconveniences for workers, who even stop receiving their salary if they do not satisfy that demand of the tax bureaucracy.
So I applaud President López Obrador for his request that this procedure be simplified, or outright made to disappear. Citizens currently have many reasons for pissing off so that they add one more to it. I do not lack good manners or Christian charity if I say that Picio was very ugly. He was from his birth: when he was a baby, his mother, instead of breastfeeding him, turned her back on him. Once he went to the zoo.
Passing in front of the orangutan’s cage, the orangutan called out to him. “Hey buddy, introduce me to your lawyer. Maybe he’ll get me out too.” The famous philosopher passed away. A journalist asked his widow: “At the moment of death, did her husband say any words worthy of being recorded by posterity?” The lady answered; “Not really, unless ‘Ah chingao, ah chingao’ are words worthy of being collected by posterity.” FINISH.
LOOKOUT
By Armando SOURCES AGUIRRE.
The patio of my house is private.
I’m talking about the one that belonged to my parents, and before that to my grandparents, and even more so to my great-grandparents, where Radio Concierto is now, the cultural station that I founded in Saltillo together with my family.
That patio is beautiful. More than a patio, it is a garden with trees and flowers and a soprano fountain in the center. Many wedding couples go there to take their wedding portraits. They ask us before how much we will charge them to use our patio as a set for their photographs. We tell them nothing; rather we thank them for beautifying our house with their presence.
Of course: I always address a few words to them. (I never miss an opportunity to rant.) I tell them that they make a beautiful couple, and I wish them happiness as great as the one I have enjoyed for 57 years with my wife. I also tell them that in life there are problems and suffering, but that being together everyone overcomes each other by the miracle of love.
So I tell them, and I’m surprised they don’t charge me for listening to my spiel.
Really: the patio of my house is particular.
See you tomorrow!…
MANGANITES
By AFA.
“. The dentists of Cuba struggle to carry out their profession.”.
When a dentist touches
examine a patient
can’t look at his tooth:
Nobody opens their mouth there.
#politics #worse