Wedding night. The newlywed elegantly dropped the green poplin robe that covered him and revealed himself for the first time in person before his bride. His name was Hercules, a name whose diminutive sometimes put him in trouble, and in truth he was a Herculean man. He flashed his biceps to his sweetie and said, “Pure dynamite.” He immediately showed her his pectoral muscles and said again: “Pure dynamite.” He highlighted the muscles of the legs and repeated the same thing: “Pure dynamite.”
She didn’t comment. She asked him: “What do you think?” The girl replied: “That you have very little fuse for so much dynamite.” Glafira, the daughter of Don Poseidón, wanted to go to the city to study, but her father was against it. He thought that the big city was full of dangers, and he also read in the newspaper that the educational authorities made teachers read a book called “Capital”, and he had heard very bad things about capitalism in the town hairdresser’s. But Doña Holofernes, the wife of Don Poseidón, supported her daughter, and under these conditions -two against one- her father had to give in, and the young woman left the farm to go to the university.
Shortly after, Doña Holofernes received a message from the student, and shared it with her husband: “Glafira has already been enrolled.” . Pecholina had great pectoral attractions, even greater than those exhibited by Silvana Pampanini in her acclaimed film “La torre de Nesle” (1955). She went to consult a doctor, who, upon examining her, told her cautiously: “Miss Pecholina: when you take a breath, let me know, please, so I can step aside.” Nonito did not know much about his life, but before marrying Frineta he asked his fiancée’s mother if his future wife was chaste and honest. “She is pure as an angel,” the lady assured him. “She is candid, naive, and innocent.”
The inexperienced young man had reason to doubt that endorsement or guarantee when four months after being married his wife gave birth to a robust baby that at birth weighed 3 and a half kilos, without diapers. He spoke to his mother-in-law, suspicious: “Babies are born at 9 months.” “Come on! -replied the lady-. I told you that my daughter is innocent. What will she know about when babies should be born!” Don Frustracio went to see a marriage counselor. He told her that his wife—don Frustracio’s, not the marriage counselor’s—was completely indifferent when it came to sex. He told her that the last time they had made love, on Saturday from 9:00 to 9:03 p.m., as usual, he exercised all his drive, all his ardor and all the skills he had learned in his bachelorhood. “And when I finished, doctor,” he told the professional, “she told me:” The ceiling has 345 small cracks.” The therapist told him: “The routine in the couple’s relationship inevitably leads to the loss of passion.
Surprise your wife tonight. As soon as you arrive at her house, throw yourself on her, as in the days of youth, and make love to her passionately in the same place where you are. You will see that this will reciprocate your ardor”. The next day Don Frustracio visited the counselor again and informed him what had happened the night before. woman there where she was and I made love to her with the passion and impetus of the first years. She continued to be just as indifferent, but the friends with whom she was playing cards showed quite a bit of interest in the event.” END.
LOOKOUT
By Armando FUENTES AGUIRRE
STORIES OF THE CREATION OF THE WORLD
Adam saw Eve and thought:
It’s going to give me a lot of trouble.
Eve saw Adam and thought:
It’s going to give me a lot of trouble.
The Lord saw Adam and Eve and thought:
They’re going to give me a lot of trouble.
No one was wrong.
To this day Eve continues to give Adam a lot of trouble.
Adam keeps giving Eve a lot of trouble.
And Eve and Adam keep giving the Lord a lot of trouble.
See you tomorrow!…
MANGANITAS
by AFA
“. By order of the SEP, primary school teachers must read ‘El Capital’ by Marx.”
One noted in his notebook
the name of the book such,
and asked: “‘The Capital’
Is it a very modern book?”
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#Politics #worse