No one was born knowing about sexuality; Everything is learned: from kissing to putting on a condom, and even how to reach the most intense of orgasms. And while theory is a necessary part of all learning, in this case the practical part is also very important.
According to the Female Sexual Function Index (FSFI), carried out in 2018 by the Argentine Society of Human Sexuality (SASH) and Erotique Pink, only 53% of the women surveyed say they always reach orgasm or climax and only 38% say that “it is not difficult” to achieve it. In addition, it is estimated that in Argentina 20% of women have anorgasmia, that is, the “absence or insufficiency of sexual orgasm.”
But the truth is that the difficulty of reaching orgasm is a question that encompasses all genders, although so much has been written in recent years about women’s orgasm. Man, woman, trans, lesbian, gay, or whatever you decide to be, the truth is that orgasm is a moment of extremely high pleasure (often linked to happiness) that unites us to all human beings.
And to know more about this phenomenon called orgasm, we must first ask ourselves how it occurs and if there are several possible orgasms.
Only 53% of the women surveyed say they always reach orgasm or climax. Photo: Shutterstock illustration.
What is an orgasm?
The sexologist Patricio Gomez di Leva account that “orgasm is one of the phases of the sexual response.” What does a sexual response imply? In both sexes, it involves a increased heart rate
Later, in the case of mens, the penis fills with blood and increases its size considerably, forming what we call an erection. In the case of women, the vulva is dilated and the vagina becomes moistened, due to the increased blood supply to its walls.
In his pioneering work on the physiology of intercourse, written in the book “Human Sexual Response” (1966), Masters and Johnson, divided the sexual response into four phases: phase of the excitement (manifested in women with vaginal lubrication and in men commonly with erection), the plateau, the orgasm and the resolution.
Whatever your gender, arousal is the door to orgasm.
How do you recognize an orgasm?
The feeling of “loss of control”, a considerable increase in heart rate (from 70 to 80 to 150 beats per minute) and the blood pressure (120 to 250 mmHg at climax) and more agitated breathingare some of the signs that we must attend to. In addition, rhythmic contractions occur in the perineal area and the face may become red.
But, as we said at the beginning, nobody is born knowing. And no matter how much the books say, before the sexual awakening, the first times, an orgasm is recognized because, when it occurs, we feel that we are facing something unique, never felt before. And then we pursue that state for the rest of our lives.
Alorgasmia is fantasizing about another person during sex. Illustrative image Shutterstock.
Are there several types of orgasms?
Formerly It was believed that there were two types of orgasm in the case of women: the vaginal and the clitoral. According to Cecilia Ce, author of ATR sex Y Carnival a lifetime, that belief is a myth and what actually varies is the type of stimulation and the intensity of the sensations.
But he points out that fragmenting the orgasm into “types” is more confusing than anything else, because “orgasm has no gender.” In addition, Cecilia Ce agrees that, in the case of people with a vulva, to achieve it they must have “adequate stimulation, for the necessary time, added to a relaxed and facilitating mental state”.
It is true that you are a man, a woman or whatever you are, arousal, natural lubrication, pelvic contractions, physical and dialectical disinhibition occur in all human beings. But in the case of men, the orgasm becomes more visible because, in the middle of the erection, it occurs with the ejaculation: that is, when in the middle of the climax, the sperm are expelled from the penis.
There are those who tell of the prostate orgasm (which is produced by anal stimulation), or of the dry orgasm (when the sperm do not come out) and sensations and ecstasy are still being studied. But the truth is that when it happens, you “know” because it ends with everything. And it gives a unique pleasure and usually a moment of high happiness.