Sometimes, groping for my phone in my bag, I snap a photo of myself and the resulting extremely close-up could well be titled Eccemulier and be exhibited together with Borja’s eccehomo in a museum of horrors. What wrinkles, what bags, what dark circles, what wrinkles. How old-fashioned, I think, as I stab at the screen with my fingers as if I had seen the devil to erase the image so that the god of the cloud does not see it from Google. Then I mull over it for a while. So that very old lady is me when I lower my guard and do not endorse the good profile of others. So I understand all those “take care, I see you very thin and very tired” that, with the best of intentions, tells you so much Good Samaritan. Well no, my lord. I’m not thinner: in fact, my jeans don’t fit after a year and a half working out in my pajamas. And no, I’m no more tired: in fact I sleep six hours after weeks of severe insomnia. What you are, they tell you without telling you, is older. You are like the woman with half a century long, two bareback births and 10 triennia of double shift between face and back that you are. But it turns out that now being as you are is your fault, left.
There is a certain scandal because the Hollywood goddess Kate Winslet, an excellent performer, has dared to appear without filters as the woman normal 45-year-old who is her police character, mother and grandmother in the series Mare of Easttown, and there have already been those who have called her old and fat for not retouching. The same ones who crucified the actresses of Friends for doing it up to the eyebrows. The message, misogynistic to the point of nausea, is always the same: whatever you do or not do, the fault of getting old is yours, aunt: not having been born. We’ll talk about the uncles another day, if that. The bad thing is that, sometimes, the worst judges of the others are ourselves. The first me who, the other day, entertained the queue for the first dose of Moderna, reviewing my contemporaries and making hateful comparisons. And that this is not Hollywood.