That morning I caressed the bronze statuette of just 60 centimeters that Rodin sculpted and that I acquired in a gallery in Los Angeles. They are the bodies of a man and a woman in a passionate embrace. When I bought it, my friend, the poet Norman Rosten, was with me. He told me: “It is a lyrical, painful image. The man’s posture is fierce, predatory, almost brutal; the woman, innocent, obedient, more than human ”. I replied: “Look at them Norman, how beautiful. He is hurting her but he also wants to love her ”. I stared at the work for a long minute — I remembered my New York visit to the Rodin Room at the Metropolitan Museum of Art — and I didn’t think about it anymore: I paid for the desired object.
I had finished my story with Arthur Miller. It was broken. I went to Mexico and spent nights of passion with the Mexican José Bolaños. I returned to the United States to sing to President John F. Kennedy. I put on a flesh-colored dress, tight to the body, a daring model. That night my ex-father-in-law, Isidore Miller, a charming man, accompanied me to the ceremony. The pain of my separation was not the success of that sex symbol that everyone wanted. It was that of a woman in the whirlwind of life where love never had a good destiny for me. It was the year 1962 … I had been withdrawn from Hollywood.
In my house with colonial-style furniture – which he gave me in Mexico The Indian Fernández— contemplated Rodin’s work. So small and so significant. I had asked my psychoanalyst: “What do you think? What does it mean? Is he really making love to her or does it just seem like it? I want to know what you think. Tell me ”. “It is a true work of art,” was the reply. I thought: I am projecting myself in sadness due to the absence of lost love. Doubts that were actually a burning nail on my present. That morning of August 4, the ingested pills took effect … And even after 59 years of that pass, no one will know the truth because everyone has a speculation as true.
I didn’t want to know more about the future …
Postscript: I exercised my right to vote and crossed out with Yes. I want to think that the Sunday vote will change the face of Mexican history and we will lose our fear of the presidential figure. We need it…