Sex coach Rich Juzwiak gave advice to a man who complained about his wife refusing oral sex. A letter from a reader and a response from a specialist published Slate edition.
According to the man, he and his wife have been together for 13 years, eight of which are married, and they are raising a small child. After the birth of their child, the couple’s sex life changed: there is practically no foreplay, the woman does not allow him to touch her unnecessarily and does not initiate sex, which has become like “something from the to-do list.” In addition, the wife does not want the man to give her pleasure with cunnilingus. “The only time she allowed me to do this was when we were dating, and sex that night was a real shock for me. I really liked the taste. She expressed concern about the smell and taste, and in an attempt to remedy the situation, I bought underwear for oral sex,” he said.
Despite this, the couple does not have oral sex, and the man wonders how to bring back the passion and whether it is possible to persuade the woman to perform cunnilingus.
In response, Yuzvyak noted that he needed to discuss with his wife again the possibility of such variety in bed.
She may simply be shy and overcome her shame with enough encouragement from you, but she may also avoid oral sex because of trauma. Another scenario: she simply doesn’t like the sensation and never feels good from that kind of stimulation. Much of the pleasure of oral sex is giving pleasure to your partner – without that pleasure, it becomes meaningless.
According to Yuzvyak, a man should once again say that he enjoys performing oral sex on his wife, but he should also be prepared for the fact that she will still not agree to such contact. The expert also recommended ways to make married life more exciting. “Something like writing erotic letters or booking hotel rooms can excite both of you, opening up new sides of your sex life. Frank conversations – not during sex, but when you both feel good and relaxed with each other – can also be useful,” he concluded.
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Earlier, Yuzwiak gave advice to a woman who was embarrassed to have sex with a six-month-old child. He acknowledged that the child is now at an age when he begins to understand what is happening around him.
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