Psychologist Thijs Launspach is a stress expert and author of the book Breeding pressure. He marvels at modern working and gives tips every week for more happiness and less stress at work. Today: Dealing with a Terrible Leader
An alderman who harassed his female employees. A professor who led a reign of terror in her department, resulting in burnouts. A local broadcaster who wanted to keep his staff in the loop by installing cameras. You only have to open the newspaper to see it: grumpy behavior from managers towards their ‘minor ones’. Apparently there is something in the saying ‘power corrupts’. Intimidation, humiliation or transgressive behaviour, it regularly occurs in the higher echelons of organizations.
Called out for the smallest mistake
With all bosses? No, fortunately not! Most executives are good. Fortunately, in my career, I have been spared such grumpy behavior from bosses. I did experience something like this once, on a small scale.
I worked as a cook in a restaurant. The owner invariably waited until the busiest time of the shift to check the kitchen, and then gave you the tiniest mistake in front of the rest of the kitchen crew. I didn’t last long either. Other than that, I’ve only had gentle, harmonious types above me – but then again, I mainly worked in psychology…
Such a toxic figure as a manager, who intimidates, humiliates or makes fun of you, is killing for your job satisfaction
You will experience it. Such a toxic figure as a manager, who intimidates, humiliates or makes fun of you, is killer for your job satisfaction, stress-increasing, and also bad for your heart. What can you put up against such a Boss from Hell? In increasing firmness:
1. Create as much space as possible. Respond to emails or messages as late as you can, and then be brief and neutral. Avoid him or her where possible. Sit further away in the office – literally as far from the sphere of influence as possible.
2. Keep a record of insults, bullying and inappropriate behavior. Save correspondence. Make a note of that outburst in the meeting. If the conflict gets too high and ends up with a third party, you will need this file to substantiate your case.
3. Talk to him/her about undesirable behaviour. Be as specific and neutral as you can. Maybe it will provide insight. It may not help, but it is important to express your dissatisfaction at least once.
4. Seek help from a counselor. This could be someone from HR or someone from an external agency such as a trade union. Make sure you are not alone in your struggle.
5. Utmost Consequence: Remove yourself from the reign of terror. Disgusting, but sometimes necessary. Especially when it bothers you a lot on a daily basis, and you have options, it is better to look for a new job. There are plenty of likeable bosses to work for!
Thijs Launspach is a psychologist and stress expert. He wrote the books Fokking Druk (2018), Working with millennials (2019) and Werk kan uit (2020) about this.
Do you think your boss is a tyrant? Three managers of a Chinese company are probably even worse. In 2018, they were discredited for the draconian penalties they gave their staff if they failed to meet their goals:
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