How Elyas M’Barek experienced a slump

In this increasingly restless world, after the upheavals of the euro crisis, everything was finally back in order, at least with the Greeks. But now “Gala” comes along and writes: “Hawaii, Malibu . . . Pierce Brosnan, 70, lives in the most beautiful places in the world. And yet the actor is always drawn to Greece.” Hey, Greeks, “Gala” describes your country as ugly! We ourselves, who have not been to Hawaii or Malibu, actually think Greece is perfectly fine and would have expected such a “Gala” text to end with the words: “And yet the actor is always drawn to Pforzheim .” And, dear Pforzheimers, before you pull out your letter to the editor: Pierce Brosnan would certainly discover beautiful corners in yours too. As 007, he has already mastered many impossible missions.

Oh what: In reality we were never in Pforzheim, which only serves as one or two cheap gags – we could also have written Ludwigshafen or Herne. (No, no letters to the editor, please.) We’ve never been to Ibiza, where Elyas M’Barek owns a house that was recently hit by a burglar while M’Barek was sleeping there. “Bunte” records what he said in a podcast: “I wake up in the night – and suddenly the bedroom door opens. And I’m totally sleepy and say ‘Hello’. And the door closes again. It was such a nightmare.” We don’t know if there is such a thing as etiquette for burglars, but we find it pretty shabby that the friendly greeting wasn’t returned. The crook shouldn’t be surprised that M’Barek then went to the kitchen to get a knife, but by then the burglar had long since disappeared. Of course without saying goodbye.

Meet at the hut

Our former chancellor apparently had a more pleasant encounter. “Things are finally looking up for him – Angela Merkel – Romantic secret meetings with Reinhold Messner,” says “Das Neue Blatt” happily. We immediately imagine cozy get-togethers in the mountain hut, but in fact it’s about a hike together, something the two of them have been doing for years – and in the show “Ina’s Night”, Messner said, according to “Das Neue Blatt”, that he Go hiking with Merkel “tomorrow or the day after”: “But no one can know that!” Let’s hope the duo had a pleasant time. And maybe even met legendary and light-shy figures like the Yeti or Joachim Sauer.

“Bild” describes another, strange meeting: Elon Musk “carries his son X to the UN – for a conversation with Turkish President Erdogan (69)”. In part, we would explain this by saying that three-year-old X asked his dad to play a game of Uno with him and he misunderstood it. But why the meeting with Erdoğan, why does Musk show the little guy a despot instead of Disneyland? According to “Bild,” the conversation was about a Tesla factory, and X was Musk’s “eternal companion and ‘energy provider’.” Unlike his electric cars, Musk is powered purely biologically, which makes him appear almost human.

From his biography, “Bild” learned that Musk suffered for seven years “from a ruptured intervertebral disc,” which he contracted in a proven, idiosyncratic way: “He lifted a sumo wrestler at his 42nd birthday party.” Not the first Time that Musk gets ahead of himself in one of his ventures. Since that day, we assume his family only invites magicians or clowns who make balloon poodles to his birthday parties.

Lovingly meant uppercut

“Die Aktuelle” reports on a “Movie meets Media” party and writes under a photo: “There has to be a bit of fun: media psychologist Jo Groebel gives his wife Grit Weiss a lovingly meant uppercut.” Hm. What media psychological signal might come from a photo in which you knock out your wife – especially since she’s holding a bag in one hand and a wine glass in the other hand, so she can’t counterattack? But perhaps, what we don’t know, Grit Weiss once worked as a professional boxer, then the gesture would be quite appropriate.

“Bunte” wants to know from some celebrities what their “most beautiful holiday experience” was. The Sky presenter Sebastian Höffner answers: “On a road trip with our old Porsche through southern France, we were surprised by torrential rain on the way back via Lake Garda. Suddenly my wife says: ‘It’s dripping on my feet!’ Short panic! The masses of water had found a way into the car! We’re still looking for the leak to this day.” Well, if that was their best vacation experience, then we don’t want to know what else the two of them experienced.

And that’s what Maren Gilzer experienced: “I was in Rome. We met Elon Musk, the Tesla boss, in the Colosseum! He came towards us with his bodyguards.” Personally, we would say yes: it would be better to have a full car.