What would you prefer — variety or lack of options? The first one will be chosen by any (or almost any) modern student. And even better, when there is an opportunity not to give up anything at all, accept everything at once and not torment yourself with the problem of choice. But it doesn’t always work that way. Making the right choice is crucial for successful study, it helps to prioritize tasks and get higher grades. Students also greatly benefit from using the professional write my paper service WritingAPaper to aid their studies. The service helps not only with the writing style but also the research component of a proper academic paper.
Most often you have to choose: a university for admission, a job, a person for a relationship. We also make decisions in a more global sense: the sphere of hobbies, the model of behavior, views. Such things are not formed in our consciousness by themselves. We also choose them.
Life vector or what I really want
If you have to decide on a routine issue, like a new coat or groceries for dinner, there is no problem. In this case, with sufficient financial resources, we are free to afford everything at once, without worrying at all about this. Everything is much more complicated if we are talking about mutually exclusive things.
Already in childhood, we were repeatedly faced with the need to choose between friendship and personal gain when we agreed or refused to share our candy with friends. The advantage in one direction or another gave its results, which we liked or not very much. Based on these feelings, we subsequently concluded and settled on the most acceptable way of communication for ourselves.
Such global attitudes, of course, have an impact on specific life steps that have a practical orientation.
I don’t know how to make a choice — what to do
And that’s not true. You can. Refusing to make a decision is also a choice.
When people are asked to vote for or against a meeting, they offer a third option – neither this way nor that way. That is, abstain. In fact, to get out of the game, leaving others to determine their fate.
Is it good or bad? Neither one nor the other. It’s just that this fact suggests that a person is afraid to take responsibility. This has its reasons, its base, acquired over the years. It’s more convenient this way. You don’t influence anything, which means you’re not responsible for anything.
Perhaps, in childhood, the parents decided everything for the child to the smallest detail, suggesting that his opinion could not be correct. Therefore, it is impossible to blame a person for such a manner of behavior in any case. He is like that and has every right to remain like that.
But what about those who recognize themselves in this portrait, but want to change? We have some complimentary tips on this. Read and think for yourself: follow them or not.
How to learn to make independent decisions
Every student knows that studying is a long process. You need patience, diligence, and many hours of practice to succeed. It is important to start using these tips in everyday life, not just reading them.
Accept yourself as a person
With all the features, advantages, disadvantages. Maybe you don’t think like the majority, maybe your judgments are very strange, but they are yours and have value. What does it mean to accept yourself? Stop endlessly reflecting and judging for failures and blunders. Everything has already happened. For some reason, self-flagellation is positively perceived in society, but, believe me, it brings absolutely no benefit to you personally.
Unfortunately, it is quite difficult to carry out such work without outside help. It is better to seek help from a psychologist or at least read books on this topic.
You can take note of the 21-day rule. This is the minimum time required to form a new habit. If you think well of yourself for three weeks, praise and compliment your personality, there is a chance that your Self-concept will change and you will feel more confident.
Analyze your needs
You never know what they say around. You decide for yourself. Even if it turns out to be a failure, it’s okay. You will get an experience that is good even being negative. After all, they also learn from mistakes. And by the way, only on their own.
You can decide whether you need something or not by mentally imagining how events will develop in the future. This is not fortune-telling, but a sober calculation. If you are advised to go to IT, because you can earn a lot of money there, do not rush to agree with this opinion and make a shopping list. Imagine that you will spend 8 hours a day at the computer. How do you like this prospect?
Sort out your desires
To separate the true from the far-fetched. It’s easy to understand what you want. Evaluate your pure emotions. What pleases you more than anything in the world, what would you do if you got a full carte blanche?
Imagine: you don’t need to go anywhere, no one is pushing you. And why imagine? Let’s try one interesting exercise
Determine one day in the week (just one!) when you will do only what you want. Literally. If there was a desire to eat sweets — allow yourself as much as you want.
Your goal here is to observe yourself, to learn new things about yourself. Keep a special diary and record everything that happened during the day. This is very important information that will most likely surprise you. After all, what you’ve been doing all day is exactly what you really want.
Shift priorities towards your desires
First, you need to analyze the contents of the diary. For example, the day passed as follows: until 2 p.m., we were lying in bed, looking at the ceiling, then suddenly we were drawn to the street, where you came across an art gallery, you went there for no clear reason and spent 5 hours there.
This spontaneous route says a lot, doesn’t it? It turns out that you are attracted to fine art. Take the time to support this interest and see what happens next. Perhaps it will soon fade away. It’s okay — something else will appear.
Learn to hear yourself
The essence of the above exercise is to get some emotional experience. When you did what you wanted, you probably experienced some kind of uplift. Joy, delight, inspiration. It is very nourishing and motivating. Take this state as a reference. That’s the feeling you need to live with.
When deciding, focus on the sensations from the previous paragraph
Focus on what brings a feeling of happiness. When mom says that you should continue the dynasty of civil engineers because dad is an engineer, grandfather is an engineer, and great-grandfather is the most important engineer, you will have something to object to her. Now you know who you should be and what to do.
No matter what the circumstances, we always have the freedom to make decisions. We agree or refuse, suffer or struggle, tolerate or actively oppose.