Family ties Author Raija Oranen stopped drinking under the influence of her son Oskar, and became a completely different person: “My marriage was saved too”

Oskari, the son of the author Raija Oranen, had to call her mother at Restaurant Kosmos as a child. Sobriety eventually saved the relationship.

Raija Oranen:

“I haven’t been any model mom. I sat in a restaurant in Kosmos for years every night, and my son Oscar had to play after me. Still, I have always been on his side and taken immediate action if he has been mistreated.

Oscar was born in February 1974. We lived with my husband Jyrk, my mother Jenn and our firstborn son Jirimiko in a rented triangle in Eira and we sublet one room. Maternity leave was six weeks, but shortly before that I went back to work as a parliamentary journalist for Taistainen magazine Tietonandaja. My mother cared for the children and was a great help.

Oscar was wild, but his visual talent was already evident in kindergarten. I sent him to art courses and tried to grow by giving praise.

I got fired from the Informant because I didn’t become a Stalinist. I went to work for the Soviet Teboil Pension Foundation for 11 years and hated it, but I didn’t get any other jobs for political reasons. I was extremely frustrated. My husband Jyrki was the director of a travel agency and absent all the time. So I started sitting in the Cosmos.

When Oskari was six, we bought a detached house in poor condition in Toukola. My mother moved there too. The kids ran from yard to yard, and we adults had a living room full of artist friends. We traveled a lot and often took the boys to art shows and museums. Oscar learned the value of a certain aesthetics of consciousness and reading.

I became a freelance writer when Oscar was 12. The following year, my mother died. It was difficult for Oscar because they had been very close.

My alcohol use started to increase. At noon, I opened a bottle of wine and got to work. By evening I had been drinking two bottles and I was feeling bad, so I had to take cognac. There was always a hangover.

As a teenager, Oskari started making graffiti and was also involved with the police. I didn’t scold him terribly. I warmly welcomed the girlfriends, and we cried the differences together. If the boys called me ugly, I raised my voice.

Oskari attended Torkkel High School of Fine Arts, after which we moved to Veikkola. A large number of creative people lived there, such as our neighbors Eero and Pirkko Aarnio. Our circle of friends called themselves a free state of Veikkola. It didn’t matter much.

In those days, the insomnia I suffered from childhood worsened. There also came periods of depression, and it’s a miracle that I survived them. As a means of rescue, we moved to Spain for the winter of 1998. It helped, and since then we’ve been there every winter.

Oskari studied design at the Lahti Design Institute, and the walnut dining table and bookshelf he made there are still in use. At school, he met his wife, Marin, with whom they now have four children.

In the early 2000s, Oskari worried about me. I had had diabetes because of alcohol, and he saw that I was always drunk. Oscar began to give me serious interviews. He couldn’t stand me drunk.

I didn’t think drinking should stop until my liver values ​​went up. That’s when I realized that now it’s forced to stop. In 2002, I became sober with the support of light hypnosis. My depression eased. The whole family was relieved, and my marriage was saved.

Both of my sons have become decent and hardworking men. Oscar does not sit in taverns and takes good care of his family. He also does not quarrel with his wife. He tried it when he was younger, but Mari went completely locked up. Oscar realized that arguing is pointless.

Jyrki and I, on the other hand, have always been arguing terribly. We are so different in our temperament. As a child, Oskari considered our quarrel normal, but he can’t stand it anymore. He has still not urged us to resign.

I come from Kainuu, and I have a wild temperament like everyone else in Famine. Jyrki has baptized my childhood family into crying Juntus. Everyone is trying to talk at the same time, wagging their bones with their fists, sternly agreeing on something.

I was born in Hyrynsalmi in 1948. My father was the district manager of the wood procurement company Kajaani Oy, my mother was a seamstress and kept a ready-to-wear shop. Our parents treated us four children well. I have taken a model from them to the extent that my own children have never had to fear coming home.

Oskar and his wife have a joint design agency, Oranen & Turklin, which makes interiors and plans renovations. He is currently planning the interior design for me and Jyrki’s future apartment. We have lived close to each other in Veikkola for eight years. We see several times a week and I always miss my children and grandchildren.

During my career, I’ve done about a hundred works: more than 30 novels, children’s books, plays, auditions, and scripted the Pure, White Sheets TV series and Rose Time. For me, writing is the form and content of life, it must have the status of God. I will retire when my head cheats.

From the future, I hope that Oskari will not burn himself out with too much work. He goes like me on big laps when there is too much work. Fortunately, his lifestyle is far better than mine. “

Raija and Oskari Oranen at a haircut in Cran Canaria in 1984.

Oskari Oranen:

“Mom is a drama queen who likes to be the center of attention. Without a filter, he tells what kind of feeling he has, and the environment has to adapt to it. Raija is also a very unshakable character. If he has an idea, you can work to turn his head. The argument with him is sometimes heavy.

My childhood was colorful and eventful. We lived in the wooden house idyll of Toukola, and at home there were often noisy parties with a diverse group: musicians, photographers, visual artists, writers. Everything special was normal. The party always lasted until morning. It was not an anxious but a positive togetherness.

Our home was left-wing, and I learned that everyone is equal. Because of my father’s travel agency, we traveled a lot, especially behind the Iron Curtain, to warm destinations in the Soviet Union.

My grandmother Jenni was my bun-scented, safe spare mother. He lived with us and was always at home. When he got cancer and was in the hospital for a long time, I was much alone. His death was a difficult place.

Raija trained me to be very self-sufficient at a young age. Already at the age of nine I was washing my own laundry. During the summer, I was struck by a lunch voucher at the dining table and told to eat at Restaurant Herkku-Haarukka. When Mom was in the Cosmos and Dad was traveling, I sometimes called a restaurant and negotiated, many of whom made Mom come home.

I once built a fort’s blankets, pillows, and mattresses in my parents ’bedroom. When Raija came home at night, she scolded me for chaos until she realized I had built a nest for safety. I still didn’t feel lonely, I enjoyed my imaginative games.

When Mom started out as a writer, she made a crazy dune. The banging of Raija’s typewriter was like the uninterrupted sound of a machine gun running down the floor of a house. If he came to him to ask something in the middle of a bang, he said ‘not now, the thought is in progress’. But when there was no knocking, he was allowed to go.

Whenever Raija got the book done, she was struck by emptiness and depression. Feeling relieved when he got to the beginning of a new story and the cart of creativity again.

When I was a teenager, my brother and I had a big party at home with Jyrk and Raija gone. I played drums in different bands, and we rumbled the drums into the living room. Then we pulled a Black Sabbath-type mound all weekend. The home was a storm storm, but we always got cleaned up before the parents came home.

In high school, I realized I wanted to work in the art field. I studied to be a designer and turned to interior design. I drifted into it probably partly because of Raija, as she has always furnished the home and aesthetics have been important to her.

For a long time, Mom’s drinking was associated with a busy social life, and didn’t disturb our daily lives. In the 1990s, however, alcohol began to take over Raija. When I visited my parents in Fuengirola, at a restaurant dinner during desserts, Raija started singing like an opera singer, with a little nuance of Irwin Goodman.

The conversation became nothing more. If there were dissenting opinions, they were not worth expressing, or a dispute arose. I had to start censoring myself. It got pregnant, and I started to stress about appointments.

I told Raija that drinking must stop. He did talk about sobriety for a long time, but did not succeed.

We were once in Rivoli for dinner, and I cooked. I threatened I wasn’t going to be in the scenery anymore if he continued. My meter came full. After about a year, Raija stopped drinking. When the change finally came, there was no drama or struggle involved.

Raija became a different person from his eyes. There was no need to be constantly on his toes anymore. When my firstborn was born in 2005, more family moments began to come. Now Raija is a classic grandmother who educates and gives love to my children.

I have read all of Raija’s books and commented on them for him. They are great, even if the topic is not so interesting. I’ve been embarrassed by Raija’s productivity and wondered how she could have so much to say.

We have a similar work ethic, and I also enjoy that ideas don’t run out. However, it can be dangerous. Like Raija, I can drive myself pretty barrel at work.

I hope Raija stays healthy, because then she will be able to write. It’s admirable to see the frenzy of his creativity. That is important for Raija. Fortunately, he is in better shape than ever.

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