jarno: “We are always late everywhere.”
alisa: „Together we are even worse than alone. Friends of ours sometimes say: ‘What time are you there? 16.00 hours? Is that exclusive or including the Timmermans hour?’”
jarno: “If we meet at 4 p.m., we’ll be there at 5 p.m..”
alisa: “Not because we don’t think it’s important.”
jarno: “If I think I need twenty minutes for something, it turns out to be half an hour. Then you would think: you learn from that and stuff, but no. Before our son Seph came, I planned my morning to the minute. It could take twenty minutes between opening my eyes and sitting in my car to work. Then I would have showered, eaten, made sandwiches, packed everything. I was super efficient. That is no longer possible with a child.”
Drama in the morning
alisa: “Seph is now over a year old. We usually discuss who gets him out of bed the night before, and who gives him breakfast. I try to get out around 7am. I am a marketing manager at a trainer for lateral entrants in education. I must confess that, especially with working from home, it is more difficult to get up early. Jarno has that too.”
jarno: „I am really a drama in the morning. I try to take every minute that I can lie in bed longer. Then my alarm goes off and I think: well no. Today is Wednesday and I think there’s not much traffic – you know what, I’ll be laying there for another five minutes.
“I am a teacher and grade coordinator at a secondary school. I teach physics there. My class times vary. Alisa is free on Wednesday, I on Friday. On Monday he goes to Alisa’s mother, on Tuesday to daycare and on Thursday my mother comes to fetch him home. Often Alisa gets him out of bed and makes sure he’s ready. Then I prepare his food and take him away. We don’t have time together in the morning. That’s better too. Alisa can’t be enjoyed in the morning, so you shouldn’t talk to me.”
alisa: “Dinner is the time at home at our house. We always try to make a moment of it for Seph at the table. So usually it’s around six. Sometimes we feed him earlier and don’t sit down at the table until around 8 p.m.
“We like to eat with my mother on Mondays and with my mother-in-law on Thursdays. We have a big family. Both my parents and Jarno’s parents are divorced and remarried, but everyone gets along.”
jarno: “My parents live in the village, Alisa’s parents ten minutes away.”
alisa: “I think there is love when you have prepared a meal for someone with care and attention. Jarno often does this extensively for me. I love that. I am more into weekday cooking.”
jarno: „I come from a family that is not culinary at all. With Alisa it is. Since going with her, I’ve had a culinary re-education. I think it’s really crazy, cooking. I can look forward all week to the time when I can start cooking again. When I say to those guys at school: go and do something for yourself, I used to look at articles on a car blog and at Dumpert. Now I am looking to see if there is anything on offer at the Sligro or Hanos.”
alisa: “His favorite store is the Sligro.”
screaming
jarno: „The arrival of Seph… I can not say: what a life changing experience has that been. Of course it is different, but we continue to do fun things, we can still go on holiday.”
alisa: „Well, it was really ‘life changing’ for the first six months, because he didn’t actually sleep and just cried. Really screaming.”
jarno: “Hysterical.”
alisa: „That he only wanted in the baby carrier and we took turns hopping around the house. That was very difficult. You’re doing it for the first time, so you don’t have a clue at all. Such a mini-human who is dependent on you is apparently very unhappy. We went to the hospital to see if there was something physically wrong with him. That was not the case.”
jarno“He just wasn’t comfortable in his own skin. We were lucky, there are people who have it for years.”
alisa: “Once that settled down, we went back to our normal lives. But it’s not like we were doing completely different things before his arrival or anything. We had left the time of partying behind us a bit at all.”
jarno: “The real going out then, but we still do parties, with friends.”
alisa: „We live in Middelharnis on Goeree-Overflakkee and grew up here, but we are not the typical Flakkeen residents. We really like the urban dynamics. And we like to go everywhere and nowhere. We go to Rotterdam regularly. But we are still very homeless, because we are attached to those family and friends. I used to always say I wanted to leave, but we live here very nicely.
“We have such a luxury when it comes to aid. We never have the problem of not having a nanny. There are always a lot of them ready. Seph is the only grandchild of our parents.”
jarno: “We even have to disappoint people from time to time. Not with you this time.”
alisa, laughs: “That’s why he also goes to the shelter, then he also learns that he is not lord and master everywhere.”
In Rush Hour, couples and singles tell how they combine work and private life. Participate? Mail to [email protected]
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