“We must arrive at a true education in feelings”. The last episode yesterday in Ventimiglia, which followed by a few hours that of Castelnuovo Magra, in the Spezzino
Genoa – Social sensitivity on the subject of violence against women. But femicides do not stop, on the contrary: it’s a tragic surge, the one that touches the whole of Italy and, in recent days, also Liguria. The last episode yesterday in Ventimiglia, which followed by a few hours that of Castelnuovo Magra, in the Spezzino. Both bringing, after the tragedy, the usual baggage of controversy and reflections. “It happens because people are not the same. And because they are two circuits that do not touch. On the one hand, there is a society that has understood and is increasingly mobilizing. On the other, males who for cultural reasons, but not only, are not in the least touched by all that awareness-raising action that runs through society itself “.
Daniela Armanda Ratti she is a psychologist with 40 years of militancy in the Genoese ASL 3. Mental health psychotherapist, she is an expert in issues of psychosocial distress. He has always dealt with issues related to gender issues, also with respect to the theme of violence, and has participated in several European projects.
What is the trigger for the violence against women, which also leads to murder?
“Usually, always the same. A misunderstood sense of possession that, from the point of view of this kind of people, validates, confirms. Any attempt by a woman to become autonomous is experienced as something unacceptable, intolerable. Even more the decision to rebuild a life, alone or with another person ».
The woman as an offshoot of herself without any possibility of choice.
«In the sense: I exist as much as you are mine».
Can we talk about actions dictated by madness?
“No. And let’s stop talking about raptus to try to justify certain episodes. When they are analyzed, it turns out that only an infinitesimal part can originate in what in common parlance is called madness. There is no temporary madness, which emerges in a given moment and is neither before nor after ».
Is there a cultural deficit underlying femicides?
“There is a prevalence of motivations linked to culture. But beware: this is not always the case. Even in culturally higher contexts, behaviors emerge that may not lead to murder but which are very heavy for the victims to bear. Like psychological or economic violence: the woman subjugated by her lack of independence, the woman who has to ask for a few euros just to buy a pair of socks ».
A few examples?
«I have heard terrible stories from wives or companions of men who when one speaks of them one exclaims: chapeau! Instead there is a relationship life background of constant abuse. The leverage of money is usually the most humiliating: I am powerful, you are nobody ».
So we are witnessing this double track. A society increasingly attentive to the phenomenon, a series of episodes that seem to escape any control.
“Yes, because it’s as if we were talking about concentric rings that don’t touch. There is this society that tries to express itself with strongly symbolic acts, such as red benches, red shoes, flash mobs. On the other hand, however, there are males who are absolutely not reached by these messages. It is as if they did not exist, as if they belonged to an unknown language or absolutely incomprehensible to them or in any case completely ignored ».
So what are the weapons against violence?
«We always go back to the starting point. All the initiatives in the field are absolutely commendable, but we must necessarily arrive at a true education in feelings. Not in a literary but practical sense. The possibility that someone, within a relationship, can say “no” or “enough” without this triggering narcissistic wounds experienced as unbearable ».
In society, then, such actions leave further wounds that are difficult to cure.
“Sure. We think of the orphans. We think of the children of these couples, who find themselves with one parent killed and the other who ends up for most of his life in jail, when he doesn’t decide to end it himself. I say it clearly: it is a problem that exists, it is very serious, it has increasingly alarming numbers but to which very little attention is given. Yet let’s concentrate for a moment and think about the enormity of emotions that these children and young people have to endure and what is the difficulty in being able to recover them to a balanced existence “.