If one wants and the other doesn’t, the relationship often creates a dynamic that doesn’t even include an innocent kiss.
Image: Illustration Chiara Ghigliazza
Almost everything is allowed in bed these days. Only those who are not in the mood quickly run into problems. A sex therapist thinks: You have to be able to let it go. And thinks little of “mercy sex” in a relationship.
Ms. Plaßmann, sex is great, isn’t it?
If he’s good, yes. But it is not always, which is rarely an issue. And that’s a problem.
We live in a very liberal time that tolerates all possible sexual preferences and varieties, provided that everyone involved agrees. Just not wanting sex permanently – that’s not okay, you claim in your book.
Yes. In partnerships, sex is considered unquestionable. Patients in particular who come to the practice alone are often very stressed, ashamed – and completely at a loss. They don’t want sex, but they don’t want to lose their partners either. If they are considerate of their needs now, they have to let their partner go. That is the way of thinking. Or the women, typically in their thirties, who burst into tears with me because they only acted out their climaxes in their relationship from the start.