“Strange Korona times can also be an opportunity to try new ways of doing things,” Fadjukoff says.
What kind human am i? Who are important to me and to whom I am important? How do I feel about the different things that come up?
Such questions are asked by the person building his identity. He needs others to get answers.
But what happens when you don’t meet your co-workers for a long time? When you can’t get into hobbies and nowhere to meet new people.
“It’s really scary,” says the docent of psychology at the University of Jyväskylä Päivi Fadjukoff.
He has done his dissertation on identity formation and knows that a state of corona exemption that has lasted for almost a year is especially difficult for young people. From their point of view, the state of emergency has lasted for a long time.
“The stronger our own identity, the better it pays off even in an emergency. But the weaker the identity, the weaker the person is. ”
Identity cannot be built by considering it alone – this is also shown by research.
Man is a herd animal and needs others. Fadjukoff recalls that identity is formed in relation to others.
“Now a young person looking for their own place in the world is told,‘ Don’t meet anyone! Do not do anything! Stay home, for you are nothing but a nuisance! ‘ That is a shockingly discouraging message. ”
In psychology, identity refers to a person’s individual perception of their own self.
At the heart of identity are the enduring personal qualities of each. At the same time, however, identity changes and develops throughout life.
Maturation takes place in Fadjukoff according to the two types of process: First, by examining whom I am important and, secondly, by finding out which groups are meaningful to me.
“People in my 50s and 60s have often already formed a relationship. They have a family, a career and a permanent residence. They also support identity in exceptional circumstances where contact is made by phone or video call or email, ”says Fadjukoff.
Instead, young people are still looking for their own identity and meaning in the world. They reflect on who I am, what I belong to, and what my values and the way of life are.
“Therefore, their situation is much wilder when all the possibilities of a‘ real ’life are blocked,” Fadjukoff notes.
Young people are proficient in communicating with others through digital means. However, some do not replace live connections.
Fadjukoff cites the school class or hobby group as an example. They are communities where everyone has their own space and where someone’s presence or absence is noticed.
“In a remote-controlled group, you can click yourself in and instead of participating, even continue your dreams. Pretty soon, the feeling of being invisible comes: no one notices, no one misses. ”
The digital world is also a place to experiment with different roles. In Some you can serve a slightly improved version of yourself and form bubbles with like-minded people.
However, the bubbles are often bounded narrower than the communities of living life.
“It’s not a good thing for your own identity,” Fadjukoff points out.
“If a young person feels that he or she is only qualified when he or she tells the best pieces about himself or herself, he or she will be left without the experience of being seen and accepted just as he or she is.”
It can also be difficult to experience one’s own relevance if there is one in a hundred thousand on the side of some idol.
Even an adult may face an identity crisis. Divorce, moving, changing jobs or retiring are situations where a person needs to create new anchors and ways of being in their lives.
For example, adapting to a new job can be difficult in teleworking.
At Teams and Zoom, things are handled efficiently.
“The atmosphere is hard to identify and get an idea of how others are reacting to their own message and whether they will be genuinely heard,” Fadjukoff says.
Coronary foreclosure is also a tricky time to look for a relationship. There are far fewer random appointments than before. In addition, the rules are in the search. “We don’t know how close one can get to the other,” Fadjukoff describes.
Everyone needs the presence and intimacy of other people. This need is of a deeper and more fundamental quality than the mere desire to amuse and party.
In this situation, according to Fadjukoff, it would be important not to blame others.
“If you live in a relationship and tolerate teleworking and being at home well, you should realize that not everyone is in the same position.”
Circumstances cannot be changed. On the contrary: The corona situation is deteriorating and restrictions are being tightened.
How can we adapt to the situation?
Fadjukoff urges us to stop and consider what kind of needs are behind our own choices.
“Are you looking for something new in your life or are you holding on to what you’ve already found and what has become important to you.”
Once you are aware of what you want, you can make a plan. Consider what means you have to accomplish your goal in these circumstances.
More according to Fadjukoff, it would be worth focusing on what is possible – not what is not.
“Strange Corona times can also be an opportunity to try new ways of doing things.”
Many have found that they have learned completely new digital ways. Equally open-minded could also learn new ways to make contacts.
Now, there would be a good reason to contact a co-worker or acquaintance directly who you usually come across only at work or by chance.
For example, making a phone call should not be underestimated. All kinds of contacts – even sending a postcard – bring people closer.
“The fact that someone wants to know what belongs to you gives you the feeling that you are valuable,” Fadjukoff says.
It is very unfortunate that young people are not allowed to practice or meet each other. One could think more about how to pay attention to others. Take more care that no one is left out of the bubbles than that you belong to the right Bubble yourself.
“Not everyone can, can’t, or can shout if someone could come pick me up,” he recalls.
Therefore, now would be the right time to organize solidarity.
A year ago, solidarity was conveyed by the teddy bears placed in the windows. Fadjukoff wonders what could be the thing this spring.
“Should Women’s Apron be made to simmer in the kitchen window as a symbol of increased housework,” she laughs.