“Let’s see, answer me quickly, how much does two plus two add up?” -Five.
“No, man, no: two plus two equals four.” “But hey … what did you want, precision or speed?”
Many people are like that, they have a tendency to dichotomous approaches: this or that, black or white, like this or nothing, period.
However, we know that most of the realities of life are complex.
Many times the key is to do one thing while still doing the other: we do not want one or the other, but both, one and the other.
Maturity requires a balance between vigorously defending one’s own convictions and interests and, at the same time, knowing how to treat others with consideration.
On the other hand, dichotomous characters believe that if you are kind you cannot be demanding; that if you treat others with consideration you cannot be bold; that if you have confidence in yourself you cannot trust others; that if you want to succeed in life you have to prepare to trample those around you.
Life cannot be based on radicalism or confrontation.
These dichotomous approaches can go to extremes.
There are people who really feel bad if they have to share success or recognition with other people.
Envy corrodes them. It hurts their souls that others succeed more than they do, or even that they approach their level of success. It bothers them that others have luck, skills or merits that they do not have.
The envious man bases his own worth on the comparison with those around him: they need the failure of others to alleviate their bitterness.
For these people, it seems that happiness is such a rare reality that others take it from them when they enjoy it.
It seems that it is a bad inclination that we all have inside, to a greater or lesser extent.
The I-win / you-lose philosophy is rooted in crooked human inclinations.
Normally, envy will not make us wish that others suffer great misfortunes (we are not so wicked), but it can incite us to a secret and intimate satisfaction when we see that others are not doing so well …, because we feel that that puts us off. some way better about them.
We will have to strive to seek our security and our satisfaction within our own personal life project and learn to compete, to win-win, to seek unity in diversity, to reconcile speed and quality, demand and consideration, acceptance and limits, is that is, to conjugate what seems difficult to conjugate.