Columns Everyone can give feedback to the other, the kind we crave even more than sex

I always doubt the honesty of those who claim to love criticism, writes Anna Perho in her column.

“Listen, my stuff has never been fixed, ”said one of my team members beautifully as I worked as an editor.

And you will notice that, I think just as excitedly, but I would still wrap my message in a more constructive form.

Giving feedback is one of the most important skills in working life. Progress and results are guided by impressive feedback. (Admittedly, sometimes I think of restoring the glory of roaring. It would get the attention of the millennials waving their matcha tea in front of their squares, at least for a moment.)

But at least as essential as being able to give feedback is the ability to receive corrective feedback.

I always doubt the honesty of those who claim to love criticism. Have they had some shameful crunching lobotomy?

Threshing feedback is difficult because it is linked to survival instincts: if you mess with a herd, you may get out of it.

Also, when you fail, you have to deal with the worst of emotions, the fear of losing your face – that is, the fact that they make me laugh.

From here for this reason it is foolish to claim that “here people do not speak, but things”.

Huh. Hardly has robotization advanced so far in your workplace either.

The aversion to criticism is thus deeply human. In addition, the receptivity is affected by everyone’s own personal history. For example, if one has been raised to believe that only perfection is valid, “getting caught” in mistakes is a hard place.

We often react to feedback in a defensive or blunt manner.

From the feedback there is no need to learn to enjoy by force, but a smart worker learns to tolerate directing his work.


Because all development happens through feedback. We only learn when we regularly have to think about what could be done differently, better.

The most motivating feedback is thanks to a good company. We crave it more than sex.

We often react to feedback in a defensive or blunt manner. That’s understandable, especially if the feedback is clumsy.

The quick way to relief is to take a deep breath and think at the time of what the person giving the feedback would really like: the blame is always coded with a desire for better.

It is up to the parties to the feedback discussion to find out what is better.

Psychologist Carol Dweck has dedicated his career to researching growth attitudes.

He sums up the tragedy of people dodging feedback like this: they can’t come for any reason because they think they should already have it.


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