The week that has flown, the peak of work, to go to the supermarket, call your mother on the phone … is February 14, Valentine’s Daybut for a lot of people, It’s just Friday.
Among the frantic rhythm that we carry and that absolutely all the brands we follow through networks, or the business of the neighborhood, take red hearts decorating shop windows or publications of Instagram -to encourage consuming their products with The excuse of making gifts-, the question of itself makes sense to continue celebrating this dayit is around many couples.
Valentine’s day may feel Forced, artificial or even unnecessarybecause they claim to celebrate love every day. And yet, also in the society so individualistic in which we are, it is possible to leave a hole to something such as dedicating one day to A feeling that gives us as much as love.
On the fine line between capitalism and sentimentality I speak with Déborah Murcia Hernándezpsychologist and author of It’s not me, it’s you (2024, Grijalbo)who confirms that “Valentine’s Day, as we know it, is a date created by marketing.”
“It has become a day where it seems that demonstrating love goes through spending money. But Love does not need these things. It can be a beautiful day if we use it to enjoy as a couple, but we should not forget that true love is demonstrated in small daily gestures, not only on a specific date, “reflects the expert.
Those little gestures, which can range from “a word of encouragement, A hug, prepare coffee in the morning… “, according to the psychologist are small things, but keys to keeping the flame of the relationship fueled.
And, in his words, “romantic gestures can be a balm for the soul. Reinforce the feeling of being valued and lovedand that can do a lot for self -esteem. But be careful, they should not be the only source of security in a relationship. “Here mentions mutual respect, communication and constant love.
But what happens when those details seem to be socially imposed, as is the case of February 14? “When you feel that you have to comply with what society expects, it can be overwhelming. pressure to demonstrate love In Valentine’s Day it can lead to misunderstandings or even comparisons with other couples, and that is not healthy, “explains Deborah.
Is it a bad sign not to celebrate Valentine’s Day?
“Each couple has their own rhythm And a way to love, and do not have to adjust to what the rest of the world says that it should do. “In fact, it is not uncommon to find in a couple, who usually organizes these details well in advance and who improvises it at the moment Or it stops it the day before.
Two ways of approaching that, “they can be equally valuable if they are born from the heart,” says the psychologist. “The important thing is not whether the gesture is planned or spontaneous, but The intention behind. If it is done just by complying with the tradition of Valentine’s Day, you can feel forced. In the end, what really matters is that those gestures, whether large or small, Reflect the love and connection between them “.
Regardless of whether it is something spontaneous or planned, they can be equally valuable if they are born from the heart
“It depends a lot on how each person understands love. There are those who value visible details, because perhaps that is their way of feeling and giving love, while other people prefer to express it in more subtle or private ways. And nothing happens. The important thing is May each couple find what works for them“He adds.
So there is only one question to ask him, can a couple be happy and be in a satisfactory relationship without visible romantic gestures? The expert is clear: “Of course! Love does not always have to be visible For others. “
“There are couples who find their happiness in complicity, respect and mutual support, and They do not need great gestures to prove it. The essential thing is that both are aligned and feel full with their way of living the relationship. ”
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