Anal Chinese balls: true story of the trap that has chess in check

A player who repeatedly and suspiciously slides diagonally into the bathroom as a bishop. Nervous glances between accomplices, as if it were two pawns plotting. The player who as king watches under his crown dominates his domain: his board and another virtual board. And the one who like a horse jumps on it due to strange stimuli.

Chess, that sport that exudes intelligence and silence on a board, screams, cornered by the scandal of the hoax, by the vulgar ruse. It is a fenced chess between bishop and queen: the king is in check.

The Anal Beads Scandal

Few times chess occupies so much attention beyond specialized circles, but this time the black and white board burns, it is a territory of controversya, since the Norwegian Grand Master Magnus Carlsen, world champion up to five consecutive times, retired after losing a game against another Grand Master, the 19-year-old American Hans Niemann, at the Sinquefield Cup, in San Luis (EE . USA).

His retirement, which came in the third round, was not apparent cowardice, it was apparent outrage. Magnus, who hadn’t lost in his previous 53 games, didn’t explain his loss to himself; he faced Niemann again a week later, and one move was enough to verify his suspicions: he dropped out again, on the Champions Chess Tour. Then, Magnus made a reckless move: he accused Niemann of cheating, without specifying which ones or how. And everything exploded. The board got stained.

A thousand hypotheses have been woven to decipher Niemann’s alleged trap. The most unheard of was the version that he would have used anal beads with wireless vibration: “balls what?”. “How is this possible?”, the chess community blushingly asked.

Experts try to explain why it is an unfounded hoax, but there are those who believe it. There are even companies and tutorials that have dedicated themselves to exposing that it is possible, how?: the spheres are sex toys located in a place not detectable by sight or sensors, which would allow the cheater to communicate with his team at a distance . An accomplice simulates the movements of the game on a computer and through vibrations announces suggested moves: vibration!, and the pawn from e2 to e4, vibration!, and the knight to f3, a system of vibrational codes for the trap.

And that’s what they accuse Niemann of, perhaps because of his background, since he confessed to cheating – other plots – until he was 16 years old. But why the ball theory? Because they pass the controls. And wouldn’t it be the same with a headset? Maybe yes, but the balls have their scandal. And if not, they also suggest that if they weren’t balls, he was a prostate massager.

He was the billionaire Elon Musk, a very controversial subject on Twitter, the one who set fire to a quote from the German philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer: “Talent reaches a goal that no one else can reach. The genie hits a target no one can see (because it’s in your ass),” she wrote and Troy burned.

(You can read: Anal Chinese balls: this is how the dark trap that scandalizes chess would work).

The Niemann Report

Niemann seems cornered. The Chess.com portal, number one chess server, leaked a 72-page report in which they claim that Niemann may have cheated in more than 100 games between the ages of 13 and 17, some in official tournaments, opening a world of concerns and disappointment among the fans, and among the top elite players themselves, who no longer know what they can trust or distrust.

The report does not mention balls or anything like that, but Niemann cheated by consulting a chess program on a second screen of his computer that calculates millions of moves per second.

And while the report said the investigation found “no concrete statistical evidence” that Niemann cheated in his victory over Carlsen, he did find certain aspects of his game “suspicious.”

The portal removed Niemann from its platform and excluded him from a competition. “Given his history on our site, we didn’t think we could ensure he would play fair in our online events until we could re-evaluate testing and our protocols.”

Obviously there is mistrust, to the point that Niemann was already subjected to a rigorous scan of his body, before a tournament in the United States. The security officer focused on passing the detector through his rear, over and over again, just in case.

(In detail: Anal Chinese balls scandal: controversial review to prevent possible cheating).

Did I cheat on Carlsen?

Nevertheless, Carlsen’s accusations lack evidence. He affirms that he detected in his rival an unusual tranquility, a look too calm for battle. And the silence of his chess player, different, revealing.

Although he did not notice any strange spasm: Niemann never jumped out of his chair. But there are doubts. Analysts say that he had a quick response for each move, as if he had already won that game a thousand times.

There are those who defend him, such as the American Fabiano Caruana, world runner-up in 2018, who believes that Carlsen was surprised by Niemann’s skill.

But suspicions flood the board: “How is it possible that Niemann progressed so much on the world list? Why do their movements match those of the machines?”, they ask.

And Carlsen bellows: “Cheating in chess is a huge problem and an existential threat to the game. Chess organizers and all those who care about the purity of the game we love should seriously consider increasing security measures and cheat detection methods, especially on the physical chessboard,” he said, and if you don’t have proof, at least if he distrusts the confessed record of his archrival.

The trap haunts like a ghost that murmurs in the silences of this sport. It is as old as chess itself. The organizers strive to control, virtually and physically, some hoax, but they exist. Enlightened minds have no limits.

At an amateur level, it happens with vividness: one move too many, a piece disappearing like a magician, and, just in case, bringing a cat to the game against an allergic rival… It’s the amateur trap. But at a professional level, and with the advancement of technology, there are ingenious ways: from the most sophisticated, such as headphones, monitors -or balls-, to the most banal, such as yogurt with a key color or flavor, or a psychic that operates from the public –or the balls…–.

And if the deception operates face-to-face, not to mention online games, which are on the rise: it involves connecting to a computer capable of playing at a higher level and faster than any human.

“Most engines use neural networks that have been trained on millions of high-level chess games to capture the deepest understanding of chess”says Chess.com.

So the traps exist, with calculated tricks, like pawns toppling white rooks, butchering black knights, and stalking the monarch’s square; and if the anal beads seem crude fiction, the reality is that the board is tainted, and the king is in check.

The most famous cases of cheating in chess

1. Tension and cheating in the Cold War: Fischer vs. Boris Spassky

During the Cold War, the Soviet and American battle moved to the chessboard, between Bobby Fischer and Boris Spassky known as the ‘Match of the Century’, and marked by controversy. From the Soviet side they insinuated that Bobby used electronic and chemical devices to destabilize his rival, there was a police raid. Fischer claimed that a mentalist in the audience was deliberately distracting him.

2. Mysterious bathroom visits: Topalov vs. Kramnik

In 2006 Bulgarian Veselin Topalov’s manager, Silvio Danailov, accused Vladimir Kramnik (photo) of receiving outside help in his continual trips to the bathroom. “Goes an average of 50 times per game”, they claimed. The trap could never be tested. Igors Rausis, another Grandmaster, was suspended in 2019 for six years after being caught looking for moves on a phone he had hidden in a bathroom.

3. The headset in the ear: a trap that was not perfect

The earpiece in the ear was a method used by John Von Neumann at the 1993 Philadelphia Open. He had a connection to an adjoining room where an accomplice with access to a computer was blowing his moves. The plan was not perfect. His beginner’s mistakes contrasted with his genius attacks. He aroused suspicion. When they questioned him, the young genius did not master even the rules…

PAUL ROMERO
SPORTS JOURNALIST EL TIEMPO
In networks: @PabloRomeroET

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