When my wife and I go out to dinner, things usually go wrong after two wine. Something about the romantic, solemn atmosphere of sitting opposite each other at such a table makes me bring it up again and again. Death. After a cheerful appetizer and a baguette with olive oil and robust sea salt, I tend to talk about what it’s like when I’m gone. Especially about how I leave her and the children behind financially. I’d like to do that right. So then I tell her, slightly tipsy, where she can find codes for my banking affairs, in which mail folder the funeral insurance is and when that savings plan pays out.
She then says that she knows where those folders are because we’ve been out for dinner before and that she also hopes I’ll be there for another twenty years. I hope so too, but eating out Frank is not satisfied with that. He insists on leaving that good behind. This is of course due to our age difference. And because I still have young children that I also want to leave behind.
I don’t know where my wife’s bank codes are or her funeral insurance folder. That doesn’t mean she doesn’t want to leave me well or is naive enough to think that nothing bad can happen. She’s just not into it. Especially not when we’re out for dinner.
For the past few months, eating out Frank has also been there sometimes when I’m not out for dinner. When we’re in the car, I tell them that part of my pension will still be paid out after my death. Doesn’t like them. Or I’ll unload the dishwasher and advise her in passing to start a relationship with that good friend when I’m gone. She doesn’t like it either.
I know very well why this macabre version of myself is now so present. Because there are no more new phases after retirement. Of course, I may be retired for another thirty years. And adventures await. I can still be a grandpa, develop hobbies, travel. But there is no new job waiting. And that, as a workaholic, does something to my mortality consciousness. Nice word though: mortality consciousness. I’ll tell my wife next time we go out for dinner.
Respond: [email protected]
Free unlimited access to Showbytes? Which can!
Log in or create an account and don’t miss out on any of the stars.
#wine #baguette #urge #talk #death