A special night, a vulgar television offer

The television programming on Christmas Eve is so predictable that to write this chronicle I could have copied word for word any of those published by this newspaper in the last five years and I would hardly have had to change a name. Even during the pandemic, the chains did not vary their roadmap beyond incorporating a mask here and a social distance there. Last night was presented so lacking in stimuli that the content that aroused the most curiosity was an institutional discourse.

One more year, TVE has made the telepassion its epicenter, but what was once a small Christmas event has gone from innovative and endearing to kitsch. That the chain chose Ana Obregón and Mario Vaquerizo as presenters, the couple that will excite the conservative majority of the Constitutional Court, shows their lack of interest in attracting anyone born less than half a century ago. If in its origins its main attraction was to enjoy the unprecedented facet of popular faces, today it is the equivalent of crashing the party of a company in which you have never worked. The obstinacy of showing each and every one of the professionals in the house, as if instead of a program that aspires to attract an audience, it was a school function in which all children deserve to shine, causes one to be repeated repeatedly in homes. of the most famous memes of Paquita Salas: “Who are these people?”

Along the way, he has also lost another of his hallmarks: songs. The classics reinterpreted with a certain irony and nods to the present have been replaced by radio formula hits. What cannot be blamed is production. The costumes, the decorations and the realization that this year included exteriors recorded in Córdoba, Benidorm, Madrid and Barcelona were wonderful. Although more than 30 years later we continue remembering Julia Otero singing bluemoon, in a performance whose only ingredients were her and an orchestra —well, well, let’s see what ingredient can be better than Julia Otero—, she shows that charisma and a good song are more effective in being unforgettable than all the drones that can cross the Madrid skies. It is difficult for us on Tuesday to be able to remember three performances that we have seen tonight.

You have to value the public that it is the only one that the starting team brings out to play in the third regional field that is Christmas Eve, even if it is with such unoriginal ingredients. Raphael has returned, a Christmas classic to whom few will put a but. They positively highlighted his duets with Nathy Peluso and Mónica Naranjo and it is necessary to forget the performance of Ana Mena, who did not limit herself to destroying Like io (sic) I love you, he also proceeded to kidnap her, cut off her ear, and call every Spaniard for ransom. As of the delivery of this chronicle, there is no record that the Prosecutor’s Office has taken action against a crime against humanity, another example of the erosion of our institutions, as the King pointed out in his speech.

After that of Linares it was Morat’s turn. Not to be confused with Morad, the rapper who performs with the same verve on stage as he does in court, but rather the Colombian band that Carolina Durante included in her anthem: “All my friends are called Cayetano / They don’t vote for the PP, they vote for Ciudadanos / Morat, Stool, what a group!” Among his companions, a ubiquitous Pablo López; Aitana, who returned as a guest star after starring in one of last year’s specials, and Manuel Carrasco with the best sweater of the night.

With a more minority vocation, RTVE Play launched the first chapter —mini chapter, barely three minutes— of lorenavidadthe Christmas program by Lorena Castell, brand new winner of masterchefthat battle royale gastronomic event that, if it had lasted a couple more weeks this year, would have ended as the squid game. Surely there are many who would have preferred that the winner with her own space had been Patricia Conde, who became TVE’s Wednesday Addams, three minutes would have been enough for her to continue skinning the worn-out culinary format without the need for Santoku knives.

Antena 3 and Telecinco sign an armistice

As if Christmas Eve were a friendly in which points are not at stake, only honor, Antena 3 and Telecinco, which the rest of the year pull out their nails for a tenth of CompartirThey again signed an armistice. Antena 3 placed its eternal zapping of supposedly shocking or funny moments in which we always miss more the anthill and squeezed a little more Your face is familiar to me.

Telecinco has worked harder, offering with Long live the party on Christmas Eve! a new update of those legendary Florida Park finery. Five and a half hours of performances in rigorous playback led by Jesús Vázquez and Verónica Dulanto, because on this night Mediaset renounces its crooked fang and becomes a kind mister hyde. Such an eclectic container that there has even been room for a shadow play show! Television can be wonderful even at its lowest moments.

Among those who repeated it on more than one channel were Ana Mena, who in her time at Telecinco corroborated that if Georges Perec could write the disparity without once using the letter “e”, she can build a musical career ignoring the pronunciation of at least half a dozen consonants of the Spanish alphabet, and Mario Vaquerizo, the longest joke of the 21st century. The debut as a singer of Diego Losada was one of the few surprises of the night: the presenter of On everyone’s lips he exuded attitude and presented his candidacy as a future contestant of Your face is familiar to me.

While Telecinco and Antena 3 weathered the Christmas dawn with undisguised disinterest, their mini-yos behaved directly like the rebellious cousins ​​who celebrate the winter solstice. Four limited himself to resorting to blockbusters random while La Sexta went one step further. Despite, as the Peli de Tarde Twitter account recalled, Saturday was the day “thousands of Christmas-hating female American executives will be stranded in a small town in Vermont because their car breaks down or a canceled flight. There, they will fall in love with a veterinarian and recover the Christmas spirit”, the chain preferred to drastically lower the sugar level in the environment and ended the night with a couple of thriller of those who remind us that we must never let our guard down before strangers.

Outside of the general channels and Christmas offers, one of the best offers was at #0, which was programmed the great escape followed by top secret. If the irreverent Virgil Hilts and his Triumph TR6 didn’t fix the night, Oh Lala, C’es la vie, Parabris, Tour Eiffel and the “Scarecrow, I’ll miss you more than anyone” would make it.

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