MOTHER MISSIONThere are those expectations about motherhood that don’t exactly come true once the time has come. Sometimes you are even completely amazed by what happens to you as a person, to your body or to your environment. Every week in this column you read what nobody told you about being a mother, but what you would have liked to know. This time: mombrain.
Losing your keys and finding them in the fridge, crying at the sight of a litter of kittens: many new mothers do not remember themselves for a while. They are forgetful and emotional, and that has an explanation. “During pregnancy, the structures in the mother’s brain change,” says doula and postpartum coach Paulina Glapinski-Zoethout. “It’s a biological process that seems to prepare us for motherhood. Social brain areas temporarily develop stronger, for example. That comes in handy when looking after the baby and promoting bonding.”
The hallmark of mombrain is of course pregnancy dementia
gestational dementia
While the social brain structures form a more extensive network, cognitive capabilities decline during pregnancy. Especially in the first and second trimester, but the effects can last up to two years postpartum. Then you have mombrain. ,, The characteristic of mombrain is of course gestational dementia”, says Glapinski-Licorice. “As a pregnant and new mother it is important to recognize that this happens in your brain, you cannot train or improve your memory in this phase. You can’t do more than give yourself time and space.”
Coming up with a good baby name is not always easy. Some parents are very fussy. Do you want to know what the strangest and most unique baby names are? You can read all about it on Parents of Nu.
Hormones
Immense hormonal changes during and after pregnancy are, according to research, partly responsible for the changes in the maternal brain. Glapinski-Zoethout: ,,That explains why you react more emotionally to things that you would not have been so moved by before. Your entire dopamine system is also turned upside down, comparable to an addiction. Just the smell of the baby triggers addiction reactions in the brains of mothers. So try to be kind to yourself if you suffer from everything about your mombrain: it’s a process, it’s not crazy. Compare it with puberty: it is very accepted that everything happens in our brain and body and that you go through a transition.”
Social norm
As a postpartum coach, Glapinski-Zoethout encounters many women who struggle with the consequences of their mombrain. And motherhood at all. We forget in our society that becoming a mother is a transformation, both mentally and physically. You can’t go back to your old self, neither can your brain. Motherhood brings with it a bit of grief: you lose your old life, your old role in the relationship and in society. But the social norm is: you have to be again and perform as before your mother was. So don’t expect that from yourself. A new you has also been born.”
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