Maaret Kallio’s column|We are encouraged to become better and fight against ourselves. In hard times, however, the mind needs security and peace, not a harsher disciplinarian, writes Maaret Kallio in her column.
In the world reading a million-selling book is interrupted by my disappointed sigh. Another heartwarming self-narrative about how you can discipline yourself better with the will to fight.
The hero has managed to leave his former unsuccessful self behind and declares already at the beginning of the book: “It’s time to start a war against yourself.”
I couldn’t disagree more.
Warlike rhetoric has taken over the media and everyday speech. The bloody battles that tear the world apart descend before our eyes every day.
While we thirst for peace and the salvation of innocent children from wars, at the same time we have an unfathomably superficial discussion about the power of the individual.
The fight against perceived inadequacy is endless and, above all, selling.
The contradiction is confusing. Now, if ever, is not the time to start a war even against yourself. In hard times, the mind needs security and peace, not a harsher disciplinarian.
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The compulsion to always be better, braver and more successful cuts off humanity.
I am made a non-fiction book about peace of mind for a long time and interviewed dozens of experts on the subject and people with extremely tough experiences in their lives.
The central themes of peace were repeated from very different perspectives. A wise person realizes that a good life is not only up to you, but also the sum of many coincidences. The power of the individual is central, but it is motivated by deeper values.
Tolerating incompleteness and understanding suffering are important paths to peace.
The compulsion to always be better, braver and more successful cuts off humanity. Where the war against oneself and others gets its strength from the terror of smallness, peace grows from conciliatory understanding.
Peace does not go around suffering but listens to it.
When suffering in people’s minds or in their relationships is rejected, it only increases the suffering.
That’s why the weaker, contradictory or hurt should not be ignored in the mind, but strive to understand. How could we find reconciliation instead of fighting?
A mind that cannot endure suffering and weakness is fearful. Just as much within the mind of an individual as between people, there is a need for peace negotiations where many different sides can be heard.
Weaknesses and difficulties should not be dismissed but invited to the same table to discuss. Therefore, the ability to hear one’s sorrows, shortcomings and incompleteness is a significant part of peace of mind.
Those who have been in the war, they don’t want to go back there.
For many, the difficult experiences and grief they have lived through make the greatness of the basics of ordinary life clear. I am a part of others and the world, not an endless battleground.
Often the wishes of those who have experienced the hardest are amazingly modest – and great in their modesty.
Many who have survived a difficult time value peace and ordinary life, realizing that it is the most valuable thing in it.
I asked a 99-year-old war veteran what he would wish for in the world and life, if he could wish for anything.
The man said quietly: “If only there was peace in the country, and people had a good will, so that no one would chase us. For the rest of my life, I wish I could tilt my head where it belongs. And for those who stay here, that they too should have a good time. What else could a person wish for but a peaceful life.”
Peace starts with oneself and continues towards others. What a world it would be like, where millions would be sold by an understanding of the greatness of reconciliation instead of endless fighting.
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