The partner of a woman who refuses sex for five years was given advice

Relationship expert Rich Juzwiak gives advice on what to do for the partner of a woman who has been refusing sex for five years. He gave his advice gave in a column for Slate.

According to the man, his chosen one never achieved orgasm either with him or with previous partners, but at the beginning of the relationship the couple’s intimate life was intense. Later, the woman underwent corrective surgery on her genitals, after which penetrative sex became painful for her and she began to ask her partner to give her pleasure in a different way. However, according to the author of the letter, she herself refuses to give him pleasure.

“If she works with her hands, she complains about pain in her wrist, when she gives a blowjob, she complains about pain in her knees. He says we need to hug and be tender more, but I don’t want that anymore, everything just annoys me,” the author of the letter complained. Also, according to him, he asked the woman to seek advice from a psychiatrist and the surgeon who operated on her, but she refused.

In response, Juzwiak recommended that a man believe his partner when she complains of pain, but not force her to go to the doctor. He also advised him to listen to her request to hug more often – and, for example, start doing it in front of the TV. “And if you're not completely disgusted, I guess you should try having sex the way she likes it. Maybe she needs that focus on herself right now. In any case, she deserves empathy: her body has suffered a traumatic experience that has negatively affected her sex life. Let the intimacy revolve around her until she feels comfortable enough to focus on your desires again,” suggested the sex coach.

Yuzwiak also noted that a man can still masturbate while satisfying his partner orally or manually. In addition, he emphasized, it is not necessary for a woman to give a blowjob on her knees – for this, both can sit on the bed. “Overall, I think you need to let go of preconceived notions about what sex should look like and take a more practical approach that works for both her and you. If this seems impossible, it may be time to rethink the relationship,” he concluded.

Earlier, Yuzwiak suggested what to do for a woman who, after 20 years of marriage, got divorced and fell in love with almost the first person she met. The expert recommended that she go on one more date, or better yet, several, to understand whether these feelings really arose for a specific person.