Patricia Gutiérrez, clinical psychologist: “Values ​​are the basis of well-being, internal security and emotional stability of children”

Thanks to her more than 25 years working in social and health intervention, and emotionally accompanying both families and minors, Barcelona-born Patricia Gutiérrez Albaladejo (Granollers, 43 years old) knows how important values ​​are as the main source of protection for individuals. . A knowledge that led this clinical psychologist to create, two years ago, an ambitious project called Familywhose objective is, precisely, the identification and construction of value systems such as empathy, education or generosity.

But this project requires tools to implement it. That is why the also professor at the Autonomous University of Madrid and founder of the TAP Center. Advanced Psychological Treatment He has spent two years writing Discover (your) values. Practical guide to educate and protect (Octahedron, 2023). It is a practical illustrated book that, in the words of its author, is “a plea for prevention, the promotion of well-being, the construction of identity and the development of internal security for adults and children.”

ASK. What are values?

ANSWER. Values ​​are the principles or qualities that characterize and define us as people and, therefore, frame both our present and future actions. They are the guide and the means to achieve everything we propose. They come from deliberation, meditation and listening, from the internal dialogue that we acquire throughout our development and from the maturity process that, as people, we experience in different stages and life cycles. Values ​​organize our world in a safe and stable way, they play a fundamental role in the stabilization of our world, in the construction of our roles and even in the evaluation we make of ourselves (self-esteem).

Q. Why is it important to educate in values?

R. As mothers and fathers we always consider how to protect, how to accompany our sons and daughters in their growth, how to provide them with resources so that they can face the demands that they will encounter… Values ​​are the great resource, the cornerstone of the protection of our children. It is the basis for generating well-being, internal security and emotional stability. They are an inseparable part of the belief system, of the way in which they will determine the behaviors and decision-making of our children in their daily lives. They will be present in all their vital stages and maturation processes, they will help them, in turn, to express interests, desires and needs, being the driving force in the development and management of their emotions. Having such an important weight on the well-being and mental health of minors, educating in the identification, choice and construction of the value system that will define them as people is crucial to guarantee their care and protection.

Q. How is one educated in values?

R. Educating with an eye on values ​​is relatively simple. Perhaps the most important thing is to know the values ​​that define us as emotional reference figures. All people, all fathers and mothers, have values, even if we do not have them identified and we have made a conscious choice about them. The first thing is to identify our individual value system in order to then generate a conscious choice of the family value system; We cannot forget that we are the active role model for our sons and daughters. In this way, we can accompany our children in their development in a simple way.

Q. Are all values ​​equally important when it comes to educating?

R. All values ​​are equally relevant. Each of them helps us define ourselves as people. This is one of its keys, since we have the opportunity to choose how we want to be, and knowing that everyone is protectionist, it is important to exercise this choice consciously in order to provide protection and predictability support to our children. Children and adults need predictability in our developmental contexts; and it is the values ​​that provide us with this ability to predict.

Q. Are they acquired or are you born with them?

R. Values ​​are inherent to the human condition, since from the moment we are born we are immersed in a specific society. At the same time, societies are under the direct influence of a culture that, although sometimes we families do not make it explicit, is always rooted in us and, therefore, we transmit values ​​generation after generation. In different cultures we share codes, symbols, norms, traditions, artistic expressions, beliefs, values… The way we express, develop and teach our children will determine their individual and collective culture. Families are immersed in a culture and this will draw the individual and shared value system of our children. On the other hand, we know that values ​​are under continuous construction, so we can modify and model them, regardless of the culture we belong to.

Q. Is it possible to choose the values ​​in which to educate one's children?

R. Of course we have the ability to make a first choice of the values ​​that will define us as a family. In fact, it is part of our responsibility. We have to provide them with security, stability, limits and protection so that they grow healthy, stable and secure, so we have to make a first definition of what will be their most protective system. As minors grow and have the maturational capacity to participate in their personal definition, it is important to invite them to actively participate in choosing their own individual value system. But also the intra-family value system to facilitate their active participation, which will result in their self-care, their self-esteem, their internal security and the sense of belonging, bonding with the rest of the family members.

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