Horrible, car washing. In my childhood memories I see men on dead Sundays on the street washing up drab cars with wipes and boxes full of cleaning products. Yet I became such a man myself. When I still had a garage with a driveway, I had an accident cleaning my vintage cars on my own property. Pure necessity. In winter, those bitches had to be stored dry and clean to prevent rust. Spray off, clean with soapy water, clean wheels with a soft brush, dry the car and wax it. I knew then that I wasn’t a real man. He enjoys it; I thought it was a visit. And so pointless. The shiny result went straight into the garage, where dust settled on it to compensate for missed hail showers and destructive road salt. If you took your cars out of the shed after hibernation, they were too dirty to handle.
Car hygiene is the blind spot for the futility of things. See men right before the eruption on Buienradar loud and clear approaching rain front, driving into the car wash freezing cold. That’s how they are. When the Sisyphean quality of the cleaning work dawned on me, I took action.
I bought a well-driving, battered Saab for 1,000 euros with moss on the window frames, which I deliberately left dirty. Peace at last. No more fear of splashing mud, birds, snow and dirty trees. Very occasionally I sprayed bird droppings and tree resin from the windows with a high-pressure sprayer. On balance, I spent less on that garbage bin than on all the car shampoos and microfiber cloths for my old cars.
Wide carriages
Nowadays I drive new. That’s a blessing. Never bad luck and if so, warranty. But how do you keep your property beautiful? The nickname scratch street for the car wash is not an exaggeration. Many modern cars, with their wide bodies, hardly fit in there, if at all. You can only get large SUVs in and out with the mirrors folded. Still needs a new one clean. Beyond the irony, I really get it. Dirty cars are like a disorderly office. The shame eats away at your work ethic and your pride. A compromise solution is the wash box, where you hose down the car yourself. There you miss the dryer at the car wash, but you can clean at your pace and cleaner than at home, where the waste water disappears directly into the ground. This brings the abandoned do-it-yourself formula back into the picture.
Now just get the right stuff. The professional has everything, the amateur always makes a mistake. Meguiar’s, which according to its website has been “the world’s leading surface care company” since 1901 and, according to acquaintances with cleaning tendencies, the must-have brand, sells all the necessities in package form. The Meguiar’s Paint Restoration Kit has everything you need to make your car’s paint look like new again. The contents make you shudder: ‘473 ml Gold Class Shampoo, 473 ml Quik Detailer & 80 g Clay, 450 ml Ultimate Compound, 473 ml Gold Class Carnauba Wax, 2 Foam Applicator Pads & 2 microfiber cloths’.
That would be too complicated for me. This amateur cleaner goes cowardly for Meguiar’s Car Care Essentials Kit. In the box spray bottles with Ultimate Quik Wax and Perfect Clarity Glass Cleaner, a bottle of Ultimate Wash and Wax plus the Supreme Shine Microfiber Towel, the cleaning cloth. I should be fine with that. Price 49.95 euros, but I saw the kit on the internet for ten less. Get your money back. One car wash with wax treatment will cost you fifteen euros and this home package lasts longer.
The guinea pig will be the 18-year-old Audi A2, which serves as the old Saab in the household and could therefore use some attention. I spray it clean, wipe it dry and prepare the kit. From the instructions I understand that Wash and Wax is a no-go. Just wash four capfuls in four liters of water and brush, preferably with Meguiar’s High-Quality Wash Glove and Meguiar’s Water Magnet to remove water droplets afterwards. Not in the package, so you will have to pay for it. More accessible is the Ultimate Quik Wax spray bottle. Simply spray onto a clean surface and rub out. We’re going for it. We immediately take the windows with Perfect Clarity.
Like New! What an honor of your work. That, according to Buienradar, will be destroyed in fifteen minutes. But all beauty is fleeting, you know that. And if DIY is too much of a psychological burden: buy a run-down Saab and say goodbye to all representativeness.
#gift #car #wash