Human relationships | After a breakup, it may be necessary to block the other person on social media – “You have to be a little selfish in a breakup”

Did you break up? just about your first love? Were you ghosted by a long-term adjustment?

It’s not a good idea to start dating again right away, advises Mieli ry’s youth mental health unit expert Miguel Reyes. A breakup is a grieving process, and the emotions associated with it are allowed to run rampant. It’s pointless to force yourself to move forward or to think positively.

“You learn something from all differences, but in a situation of grief, you shouldn’t think about those things yet.”

HS Nyt put together the divorce guide together with Reyes. These eight tips can help you get over a breakup.

1. Block him – that’s fine

Take a proper distance from your ex, even if it seems difficult. Block or hide his profile on Facebook. If you can, take a break from social media completely. You need time for yourself now.

“You have to be a little selfish in a divorce. There will definitely be injuries, but there’s nothing you can do about it,” advises Reyes.

The most difficult thing is if the ex is in the same workplace or school. In Reyes’s opinion, it is enough to say hello.

“It’s also okay not to say hello. It depends on what is the most natural style of distancing yourself.”

2. Don’t tell about the breakup on social media

Don’t do like Hollywood celebrities and write a bitter insta post about your ex.

You are not obliged to tell about your breakup on social media, Reyes reminds.

“Don’t go for revenge. That’s the question then. No one should take a model from the legal battles of Yankee celebrities. Such things are discussed in therapy.”

3. Make a “breakthrough”

Write a short text, poem or song. Paint a board or make a private Tiktok video of your feelings.

Art is a good way to deal with one’s own feelings of sadness and anger, says Reyes.

There is no need to publish or show the divorce decree to anyone. The main thing is that you say your own feelings in some form.

4. Do not unnecessarily explain the reasons for the breakup to an outsider

The reasons for the breakup are nobody’s business but you and your ex-partner. There is no need to answer questions from intrusive relatives.

“Social norms guide us to think that a breakup is somehow a failure or a disappointment. For some it probably is, but it’s not a matter for outsiders,” Reyes points out.

5. Listen to your “breakup record”

Now is your time to relate to heart-wrenching ballads and empowering single anthems.

Here are some of HS Nyt’s disc recommendations:

• Olivia Rodrigo, Sour

• Billie Eilish, Happier Than Ever

• Lauri Haav, Aino

• delay, Relationship cemetery

• taylor swift, 1989 (Taylor’s version)

• Lorde, Melodrama

• Adele, 21

• Frank Ocean, Blonde

• beyoncé, Lemonade

• SZA, SOS

6. Eat jätski, chocolate and watch series

Eat ice cream, chocolate and watch series and movies at the liter shop, Reyes advises. Even better if you can do this with your friends.

Among the difference sets, HS Nyt recommends these:

• New Girl (Netflix)

• Separation diaries (Yle Areena)

• Gilmore Girls (Netflix)

• Killing Eve (HBO Max, Disney+)

• The Ultimatum: Marry or Move On (Netflix)

• Single Life (HBO Max)

• Love and Anarchy (Netflix)

• Skam (Yle Areena)

• Adults (Yle Areena)

7. Don’t miss out on hobbies

You should stick to your daily routines and hobbies. Even if you feel like just staying at home at the time of separation, you shouldn’t completely change your weekly rhythm.

After the divorce, there may also be room for new hobbies. Do something your ex never got excited about.

8. Talk, talk, talk

Grinding and fluffing is only good, Reyes encourages. So don’t be afraid to talk about your breakup, even if it feels like repeating things.

“However, differences are big things to deal with. They collide with bigger feelings and traumas that our parents have left us.”

If talking is difficult, message someone. If necessary, contact a school or work psychologist, a health center or low-threshold chat services. You don’t have to go through a breakup alone.