Is there a man in this city and its surroundings who is more capricious and idiosyncratic than Don Chinguetas? We know him because of his fondness for undocumented love affairs. Yesterday no less, his wife, Mrs. Macalota, caught him in an illicit consortium with the young and pretty maid of the house. The lady, furious, asked her light spouse: “Can you explain to me why I find you like this?”
“Of course I can,” answered Don Chinguetas. “Since you’re coming from the gym, you’re wearing tennis shoes and I didn’t hear you come in.” Three older gentlemen were chatting at the coffee table. One said: “My eyesight is getting worse every day. I no longer see anything a meter away.” Commented another: “My crick has become so acute that it prevents me from moving my head to one side or the other.” The last one complained: “My blood pressure is so high that I continually get dizzy to the point of passing out.” “How bad we are! -He concluded with a sigh the first-. We must thank God that we can still drive”.
Don Francisco was the name of that man whose age was around 60. He married a woman who was in her 30s, and whose social status was much more modest than his. On the night of the wedding, she asked him: “Don Francisco: do me the favor of looking elsewhere, so I can undress.” The lord did what his bride asked him to do. He immediately told the young woman: “Don Francisco: do me the favor of turning off the light before going to bed.” The newlywed fulfilled that wish. In the dark the bride complained: “Don Francisco: his knee is hurting me.” The man clarified: “It’s not the knee.”
She then exclaimed, excited: “Paco!” The doctor’s waiting room was full, and all the seats were occupied by a lady and her eight children, so the rest of the people waiting had to stand. A patient who was carrying a cane walked from one side of the room to the other, and with his cane he made an annoying noise when hitting the floor, since the cane did not have a tip. The woman told him, exasperated: “If you put a sniffer on his cane, he wouldn’t make that unpleasant noise.”
Immediately, the man replied: “And if your husband had put on a hulito, all of us who are standing here could be sitting down.” The traveler was on a rural road and his car broke down. Rather, the one who suffered it was the traveler, because the place was far away and the night was unpleasant: it was raining torrentially and a cold wind was blowing. He saw a little light in the distance and directed her steps towards it. It turned out to be the house of a farmer, who told him that he could spend the night there. He warned him: “There is only one bed available apart from mine and my wife’s, and my daughter sleeps in it. I will put a pillow between the two, and you will give me your word as a gentleman not to attempt anything improper”.
The traveler swore by his honor to respect that of the girl, who turned out to be a young woman with graceful forms. The stranger kept his word, and the pillow served as an effective barrier between the girl and the salesman. The next day the two of them went for a walk in the countryside. A sudden gust of wind caused the girl’s hat to fall on the other side of a stream that ran there. The traveler said to the girl: “I will jump over the stream and bring her her little hat.” “Uh!” the girl exclaimed as if to herself, scornful. “She says she’s going to jump the stream, and she couldn’t jump a pillow.” A woodpecker flew away from its nest. It landed on a thick-trunked tree and pecked at it. At that precise moment lightning struck, splitting the trunk in two. And the bird said in astonishment: “Wow! You’re just far from home and how hard your beak gets!” FINISH.
LOOKOUT
By Armando FUYENTES AGUIRRE.
STORIES OF THE CREATION OF THE WORLD
The Lord made the vine.
He made the fig tree.
Made the sycamore.
Made the birch.
He made the oak.
Made the poplar.
Made the fir.
Made the oak.
He did all this with his leaves because Eva said:
-I have nothing to wear.
See you tomorrow!.
MANGANITAS
By AFA.
“. The price of meat will rise.”.
with that the mexicans
-our fortune is adverse-
we are going to have by force
to become vegetarians
see more
#Politics #worse