Callicles, a poet from Rome, was sentenced to death for disrespecting Caligula. It so happens that the emperor wrote an Ode to the Mother in iambic verses so bad that Callicles said to him helplessly: “It is well that you write verses, but do not odes.” This infuriated Caligula,-, and he ordered the bard to be thrown to the lions at the next Festival of Latin Culture. He commented: “The beasts do not know that he is a poet, and so they will have no qualms about eating him.”
Upon learning of the terrible sentence, the women were grieved, for Callicles was a great lover, super-eminently gifted and skilled in all the arts of Venuc Calipicia. Rare was the Roman who had not enjoyed the viripotence of that muscular bull. So they formed a commission to talk to the emperor and ask for clemency for him. Caligula listened to them between yawns and then replied: “I can’t go back, let alone go back.
The sentence is dictated and does not admit appeal. ‘Iudex non debet lege clementior esse’. The judge should not be more lenient than the law. Also ‘Pulchra mulier nuda erit quam purpurata pulchrior’. A beautiful woman looks better naked than dressed in purple. That is from Plautus, and it is very well said even though it has nothing to do with the question at hand. Damned Callicles is damned. Go to your women’s chores and leave me alone.
Trying to convince me is ‘mulgere hircum’, like trying to milk a goat”. The commissioners, regretful, headed for the door. One said with a sad voice: “A great pity that Callicles dies. In addition to being an inspired poet, he is a formidable stallion, the largest in Lazio. Not even ten women are enough to make him straight “. Caligula managed to hear that and stopped the ladies. “Let’s see, let’s see, let’s see,” she said with obvious interest. How is it that Callicles can yoga with ten women in a row and remain firm? “. He replied the one who had spoken:” Ten are nothing. On a certain occasion he gorged fifty, and he was left fresh and pimpant”. “Well, well, well,” the emperor pondered, placing a hand on his chin.
That could serve as entertainment for the people, now that there is still no soccer. I will order a show to be put on at the Colosseum. If Callicles manages to make love to a hundred women, one after the other, I will spare his life”. of Nero, and Poppea, his wife, but the organizer told them that they could not participate in the contest because of nepotism, etc. The Roman circus was filled with an eager crowd, the hundred women came out and the audience greeted them with a courteous applause. When Callicles appeared in the arena, however, there was a thunderous applause: “Forza, Italia!”
A bed had been placed in the center of the arena. Without trying at all Callicles dispatched ten women, twenty, thirty. He made it to number 50 without even breaking a sweat. After making love to the 60, he asked for a glass of wine, which worried the fans. Finishing with number 80 he showed signs of fatigue. There was a deep silence when, upon reaching 90, it was seen that Callicles was running out of strength. With fatigue he realized the 91. In the 92 he was exhausted, and more in the 93. He struggled enough to comply with the 94. In the 95 he had to exert himself considerably.
The public was in suspense. Number 96 represented a challenge for him in which he had to pledge his last remaining arrests. He almost couldn’t with woman number 97 anymore. When he finished with 98 it seemed that he was going to collapse. He mustered all of his strength, however, and with a superhuman effort he was able to make love to 99. When number 100 arrived, Pitocles couldn’t take it anymore. He fell back on the bed, and with his arms he rejected the beautiful woman who was offered to him. Then all the fans shouted at the top of their lungs from the stands: “Eeeeeeeeeh, puto!”. FINISH.
LOOKOUT
By Armando SOURCES AGUIRRE.
STORIES OF THE CREATION OF THE WORLD
The Lord made the fly.
As soon as it came to life, the annoying insect began to fly around Adam’s head.
The man gave the air with his hands, trying to push away the importunate, but the fly evaded the blows and kept buzzing around the man.
Adam was desperate. If he moved away, the fly would follow it. He droned, insolent in his ears; he stood on her nose. The man was desperate.
-Damn! he exclaimed, full of irritation and unable to contain himself. Why did the Lord make the fly?
The Creator heard it and answered amused:
“So that men would wonder why I did it.”
See you tomorrow!…
MANGANITAS
By AFA.
“. Streets of Mexico City are flooded.”.
Deranged cabinet…
A bad government.
to the capital city
it rains on wet!
#Politics #worse