My four readers will have to forgive me: in this column comes a mother-mental. I am not given to using insulting expressions, especially when they allude to those who yesterday were white heads and today are purple, blue, red, gold, or the color of a crow’s wing. There are occasions, however, when bad words are very good, because they serve to respond to some insult, punish some abuse or vent a feeling of indignation that, contained, would be a source of evil for the body as well as for the spirit.
Before giving an outlet to the mentioned mentioned, I will tell a little joke in order to lighten the weight of what will follow later. Don Wormilio had been going daily to the consultation of Dr. Duerf, a psychiatrist, for five years now. At the end of the lengthy and expensive treatment, the doctor gave his diagnosis to the patient, whose wife was waiting outside, in the anteroom. He told Don Wormilio: “You are the victim of a complex that has prevented you from enjoying life, causes you problems of all kinds and keeps you in a continuous state of anxiety and restlessness.”
“Shh!” Don Wormilio silenced him. “Lower your voice, doctor. The complex is out there, and you can hear it.” Now comes the mother’s lie. I was writing -not working- when the phone rang. I picked up the horn and said, “Okay.” (As things are in the country I should have said: “Bad”). A young man’s voice said to me: “Hi, man.” I asked: “Who is speaking?” He asked me in turn: “Don’t you know who I am?” I answered flatly: “No. I don’t know.”
“How is it possible that you don’t recognize me?” said the other. “I’m your nephew, the one who lives in Mexico City.” I replied: “Don’t tell me you’re the Charolito.” “That’s right, man,” said the caller, “I’m Charolito. It’s good that you recognized me. I’m talking to you because I’m in trouble, and I urgently need your help.” “Of course, son,” I answered. “I’ll help you with everything you need. But first, let me ask you two favors.” “What favors, uncle?” I said: “First, say hello to your father, if you can find out who he is. And second, go fuck your mother a lot.” And so saying I hung up the horn while a Mephistophelic smile appeared on my face. And I don’t have any nephew Charolito in Mexico City. It was one of those false calls with which bad guys get money from people who are distressed with requests for money for alleged accidents, sudden illnesses and other evil inventions.
They tell me that most of these calls originate in prisons, since in most of them inmates are allowed to have cell phones and use them without any restriction, in exchange, of course, for some payment of money. I understand that in other countries prisoners can only make calls on a prison phone, and those calls are heard by guards. In my case, the extortionist’s call has not been repeated.
If it repeats itself, I already have another mother’s name ready, even more expressive and sonorous than the first… A pollster on sexuality issues asked the young newlyweds a question: “How many times a week do you do the love?”. She wrote on the form: “One.” He put: “24”. The difference in her answers surprised the interviewer. She asked them to explain the obvious disagreement. It was the wife who gave the explanation: “My husband and I have sex once a week, on Sunday. The other days he works as a gigolo. He dedicates himself to satisfying rich and lonely ladies. And he will continue working like this until we finish paying the Department”. FINISH.
EYE: It says “the mentada mentada”. Thanks.
LOOKOUT
By Armando SOURCES AGUIRRE.
A righteous man appeared on Earth.
The powerful said:
-Don’t listen to him. He is crazy.
A man who proclaimed the truth appeared on Earth.
The powerful said:
-Don’t listen to him. He is crazy.
A good man appeared on Earth.
The powerful said:
-Don’t listen to him. He is crazy.
Jesus appeared on Earth.
The powerful said:
-Don’t listen to him. He is crazy.
See you tomorrow!…
MANGANITAS
By AFA.
“AMLO will make his own demonstration.”
From now on, I think
inept but obedient
his numerous servants
They prepare the hauling.
#Politics #worse