“Did you spend 10,000 pesos in one night? Doña Macalota furiously demanded of Don Chinguetas, her flippant husband. You are irresponsible, a scoundrel, a great idiot, a rascal!” Don Chinguetas meekly replied: “It’s easy for you to say that. You don’t drink, you don’t play poker, and you have your own pomp.” It has been said that the universities of the United States are a football stadium with some schools around it. The coach of a college team was concerned to learn that his star player had failed Math, and therefore he could not continue playing. He talked to the president of the university and told him that without that player they couldn’t win the championship.
The president called the professor of the subject and asked him to give the boy another exam. Maybe this time he would pass the class. The teacher knew that if the player left the team he would leave the university. Thus, he applied a second test in the presence of the coach: “Tell me: how many are 5 times 2?” The soccer player thought for a long time, secretly counted with his fingers and then guessed the answer: “10”. The coach was distressed: “The boy is nervous, teacher! Please give him another chance!” Conscience is that little voice inside that tells you that someone can find out. Facilda went to the office of Dr. Duerf, a psychiatrist, and told him that she suffered from an irrepressible impulse that led her to give herself to any man, and even several on the same day. She then felt great pangs of conscience. “You are an erotomaniac” -diagnosed the analyst. “Write down the word for me,” Facilda asked.
They tell me another one with quite a few fewer letters”. Dr. Duerf continued: “I think that in a hundred weekly sessions of 2 thousand pesos each I will be able to take away that libidin impulse.” “I don’t want him to take away the impulse -Facilda clarified- . What I want is for him to take away my remorse”. Don Languidio’s eldest grandson went to visit his grandfather. The morning was one of the coldest of winter. The north wind was blowing and the snow was falling; the car’s thermometer showed 10 degrees Celsius below zero. What would not be then the surprise -and the alarm- of the boy when he saw the mature man outside the house, sitting on the grass in the garden and without any clothes from the waist down. “Grandpa! he told her in dismay. What are you doing here, on the cold ground, under the snow, shivering with cold and without underwear or pants?” Don Languidio explained with a lamenting accent: “Yesterday I went out into the garden without a shirt or undershirt and my neck stiffened.
This is your grandmother’s idea.” Candidiano was a consummate optimist. Everything was fine for him; he believed he lived in the best of all possible worlds. Even the worst events left him undaunted; not even the greatest calamities altered his positive view of life. In the face of a bad event he always said: “Things could have been worse”. On one occasion the gendarme of his neighborhood gave him some deplorable news. It happened that the day before, Wednesday, the town hairdresser had a severe headache. He then closed barbershop and went home mid-morning. It turned out that his wife was in bed with another man. The barber took a gun, killed the woman and her lover, and then shot himself in the head. Candidiano heard the relationship, undaunted, and then pronounced his customary phrase: “Things could have been worse. ” “How could it have been worse? The gendarme was scandalized. Two murders and a suicide, and you still say that things could have been worse?” “Yes,” Candidiano confirmed. If instead of the hairdresser’s head hurting on Wednesday, it would have hurt him on Tuesday, I wouldn’t be here anymore.” END.
LOOKOUT
By Armando SOURCES AGUIRRE.
The giraffe asked the Lord:
-Why did you make me so tall?
The tortoise asked the Lord:
-Why did you make me so low?
The elephant asked the Lord:
-Why did you make me so big?
The flea asked the Lord:
-Why did you make me so small?
The mouse asked the Lord:
-Why did you make the cat?
The cat asked the Lord:
-Why did you make the dog?
The Lord, impatient, wondered:
-Why did I do them?
See you tomorrow!…
MANGANITES
By AFA.
“. The consultation proposed by AMLO on the militarization of the country is illegal.”
as emperor or king
Lopez Obrador says:
“The law? What law? No sir.
I am the only law!”
#politics #worse