In a city in northern Mexico there was a meteorologist who was never right in the forecasts he made on the radio on the nightly news. If it announced rain for the next day not a drop fell; if he predicted a clear sky, the celestial vault was filled with storm clouds and a tremendous downpour fell. It was said about that man that the only success he had in his professional life was when he declared: “Yesterday there was a snowfall.” Once he heard that in a certain American border town, near his own, there was a weather forecaster whose predictions never failed. He made a special trip to meet him, and when he found himself before him he begged him to share with him the wisdom of his infallible meteorologist. How did he manage to never miss his predictions?
The man agreed to reveal his secret, having sworn to keep it only for himself. He told him: “At night I hear on the radio the forecasts that an asshole makes in such a city, and the only thing I do is predict the opposite of what he predicts. If he announces rain I say that the day will be dry; if he forecasts a clear sky I predict cloudy. That way I never fail”.
Changing what needs to be changed, and removing the sonorous adjective used by the wise meteorologist, the cartoon is applicable to President López: to be right, it is enough to maintain the opposite of what he affirms; stand in the opposite position to the one he takes. Even so, today I express my agreement with a decision announced by López Obrador: that of eliminating summer time. I don’t have hard data on the subject, and I don’t even have soft data, but I understand that such a schedule was introduced mainly to benefit industries, and I know that it pisses off ordinary people in many ways.
My grandchildren, for example, go to school while it is still dark. For me, the said schedule always causes me a kind of jet lag from which it takes me days to recover, only to experience another when the schedule changes again. I wish daylight saving time would go away. It would be a success of the 4T. The first perhaps so far in the six-year term. “My wife is a sex object.” One guy made that unusual statement to another. “How!” the listener was astonished. “Yeah,” the guy confirmed. “Every time I ask her for sex, she objects.” At a party a vain -and angry- guest told a pretty girl for no reason: “I’m from the Humane Society.” She asked: “Protector or protected?”
The new patient reported to Dr. Duerf, a psychiatrist: “I used to talk to myself.” “That’s not a problem,” the analyst told him. “Remember what the other Machado says in his poem ‘Portrait’: ‘I talk to the man who always goes with me / -who speaks only hopes to speak to God one day -, / my soliloquy is a conversation with that good friend / who taught me the secret of philanthropy.’ Incidentally, I believe that in the last two lines of this enigmatic quatrain the poet alludes to Christ and his doctrine of love of neighbor . But I return to ours. It is not abnormal for you to talk to yourself.” The querent asked: “On the phone?” Doña Panoplia de Altopedo, a lady of good society, went to visit her friend, Gules, at the rural farm where she was going to spend the warm season.
As usual, the owner sent her coachman in a horse-drawn cart to pick up the visitor at the train station and take her to the estate. On the way, Doña Panoplia observed with disgust that the coachman hit the nag with her whip. She asked him, irritated: “Do you have to hit the horse in the haunches like that?” She answered the charioteer: “I also hit him in these, but I’ll leave that for the climbs.” FINISH.
LOOKOUT
By Armando SOURCES AGUIRRE.
This friend of mine is a skeptic. He maintains:
-You don’t have to believe in anything.
And adds:
-You don’t have to believe in that either.
His skepticism becomes radical on two issues. He states bluntly:
-It takes a lot of faith to believe in God, and even more so to believe in women.
Then say:
-I do not know God, and it is impossible to know women.
I pity that friend of mine. You cannot go through the world without believing in anything. It is necessary to have faith, if not to move mountains, yes to move yourself. If you didn’t have faith in others, you wouldn’t go up the elevator or eat what they serve you in the restaurant.
My specialty is believing in incredible things. Sometimes I even believe in myself. I tell my friend: -You have to believe in something.
Reply:
-I don’t believe you.
See you tomorrow!…
MANGANITES
By AFA.
“. A cold wave is approaching.”.
With shamelessness and cachaza
one individual said:
“If it’s cold wave
I have one at home.”
#politics #worse