Pavel Filatyev (34) has fled his homeland after publishing a 141-page document describing his experiences on the front lines. The Russian soldier breaks the silence with this: ,,We Russians do not feel that what we are doing is right. What the hell do we need this war for?”
Pavel Filatyev knows the consequences of what he did. The ex-paratrooper knows he faces a jail sentence, that he will be called a traitor and shunned by his former comrades in arms. His own mother urged him to flee Russia while he still could. And he eventually did after he first moved from hotel to hotel to outrun the security services.
Two weeks ago, the Russian published his 141-page war diary on the Russian social networking site Vkontakte. And that document hit like a bomb. It was a description of how his unit was sent from Crimea to the Ukrainian mainland and captured the seaport of Kherson. He also shared how he ended up being injured and evacuated with an eye infection.
God, if I survive this, I’ll do everything I can to stop this
By this time, he was convinced that this war is not justified at all. “I’m not afraid to fight in a war, but we Russians don’t feel right now that what we’re doing is right,” he said. British newspaper The Guardian. A journalist met Filatyev and saw photos and documents proving that he was indeed in the Russian army. Not all the details of his story can be checked. But Filatyev gives a detailed account of his experiences. “We were under constant artillery fire near Mykolaiv. At that moment I was thinking ‘what the hell do we need this war for?’” Then he made a promise to himself: ‘God, if I survive this, I will do everything I can to stop this’. Filatyev refuses to be part of this “madness” any longer.
Don’t shut up
He spent 45 days writing his memoirs, breaking the Russian silence that not even the word “war” should be spoken publicly. “I just can’t keep silent any longer, even though I know I probably won’t change anything, and maybe I acted foolishly for getting myself into so much trouble,” Filatyev said.
Extracts from his war diary were published by the increasingly scarce independent Russian press. Filatyev also gave an interview to the Russian-language independent television channel TV Rain.
Although he is one of the few to speak out, he says he is not the only disgruntled Russian soldier. Most are dissatisfied with what is happening in Ukraine, Filatyev believes. He describes how his poorly equipped and exhausted unit invaded Ukraine with hardly any proper logistics or concrete objectives. No one understood why this war was happening at all. “It took me weeks to understand that there was no war at all on Russian soil, but that we had just attacked Ukraine.”
It took me weeks to understand that there was no war at all on Russian territory, but that we had just attacked Ukraine
At one point, Filatyev describes how the paratroopers, the elite of the Russian army, captured the seaport of Kherson and immediately began to collect “computers and all the valuable goods they could find.” Then they searched the kitchens for food.
wild state
,,We ate everything there if we wanted: oats, porridge, jam, honey, coffee… We didn’t care about anything, we were already pushed to the limit. Most had already spent a month in Ukraine without any form of comfort, a shower or normal food.
“What kind of a wild state can you bring people into by not thinking about sleeping, eating and bathing,” Filatyev noted. ,,Everything around us made us feel dirty; as wretches we were just trying to survive.”
To steal
The Russian also tries to explain why the soldiers are constantly stealing things like computers. “A soldier knows that such a computer is worth more than his pay. So he takes those things with him. I’m not trying to justify this, but I think it’s important to explain why soldiers behave this way in these kinds of extreme situations.”
It was unclear what the plan was – as always nobody knew anything
He also denounces the outdated equipment of the Russian army. The rifle he had been given before the war was corroded. “We were just an ideal target,” he writes. For example, his unit moved to Kherson in outdated and unarmored trucks that sometimes stood still for 20 minutes. “It was unclear what the plan was – as always, nobody knew anything.”
Mutilations
At the front, frustrations increased to such an extent that soldiers deliberately shot themselves to escape the misery and collect 3 million rubles (50,000 euros) in compensation for the next of kin. Likewise, there are rumors of mutilations being inflicted on captured soldiers and corpses.
Filatyev says he has not personally seen the beatings during the war. But he describes a culture of anger and resentment in the Russian military, as opposed to the facade of general support for the war that the propaganda machines want to keep going.
dissatisfied
“Most Russian soldiers are not happy with what is going on there, they are unhappy with their commanders and their government, they are unhappy with Putin and his politics, they are not happy with the defense minister, who never served in the army,” he says. In his war diary, he claims that ‘there are an enormous number of dead, whose relatives have received no compensation’.
Since his diary came out, his entire unit has cut off contact with him. But he believes that some 20 percent of his comrades in arms support him. And many others at the front reluctantly told him that they have great respect for the patriotism of Ukrainians who are fighting for what they are worth to defend their own territory.
Popular protests
The Russian hopes that all war misery will end after large popular protests. But that scenario still seems a long way off, he admits. “I’m just terrified of what happens next,” he says, while also knowing that Russia will want to fight to victory despite the terrible toll.
Filatyev has now had to say goodbye to his own homeland. “Why do I have to flee my country just because I’m telling the truth? I am overwhelmed with emotions because I had to leave my country,” he concluded sadly.
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